We sped to Los Gatos, where they keep the Christmas tree lights up year round, declining Democratic Central Committee candidate Oliverio’s offer to race us in his Saturn.

We knew this was one race Pierluigi would lose, even as our trusted assistant checked election results from a mobile laptop passenger side. We easily identified Mike Wasserman’s Tudor home by the prolific number of massive lawn signs in the driveway.

We were particularly impressed by We Like Mike’s sports autograph collection. How many people keep Satchel Page and Dizzy Dean’s autographs in their den?