Last week, Mayor Chuck Reed entered into a very Chamber of Commerce–friendly wager with Chicago Mayor Richard Daley: If the Sharks lose the series against the Blackhawks, a basket of the finest San Jose–made foods and beverages will arrive on Daley’s desk; if the Sharks win, Reed will be elbow deep in Eli’s Cheesecake and Vienna Beef.
And whether or not this currency is anywhere near as interesting as the classics—first-born sons or freshly shaved heads—the list Reed came up with was weak sauce.
If San Jose can’t win the series, we should at least be able to prove that we know how to pack a proper pick-a-nick basket. With that in mind, Fly came up with its own list, beginning with some of our locally grown and readily available medical marijuana. There is even a hybrid called Great White Shark, for crying out loud. A few mayoral tokes of that should make it no trouble to polish off a bag of locally produced R.W. Garcia Co. flaxseed tortilla chips, a box of Psycho Donuts, a helping of El Azteca chicken-and-cheese tamales and a firm block of tofu from San Jose Tofu Co.
To wash it all down, Fly suggests a cup of Barefoot Coffee (roasted off the Alameda), backed by a healthy shot of San Jose-bottled Skyy Vodka.
And why stop at food and beverage? Mayor Daley might also appreciate some locally-sewn down booties from Western Mountaineering for those Illinois winters. Perhaps he might like a PayPal account, or a vial of biodiesel fuel from San Jose Tallow Co. Assorted earrings from eBay? A Linksys Valet router from Cisco, perhaps?
There’s a lot riding on that little gift basket’s shoulders after all. If the Sharks win, the city will toast with Windy City Soda and dance on Harry Caray’s grave. If they lose, we go back to the Doobie Brothers being the most important cultural export in our civic history.
Hey Fly too much smoking the evil weed, Ops medical marijuana while you write Metro stories and blogs
San Jose could after the medical marijuana, a hybrid called Great White Shark, is delivered to Mayor Richard Daly and each player on Blackhawks team then call feds and have them bust for federal drug possession since Chicago does not have medical marijuana, for kicking Sharks butts
On second. why not have Sharks send picnic baskets anonymously to Blackhawks team with illegal marijuana now
Have feds bust Blackhawks team so they forfeit remaining games in best traditions of “San Jose and Chicago dirty tricks to win” and our Council can say over and over again ” I am shocked, shocked that the Sharks would resort to dirty tricks to win ” like they did recently in District 5 race
Is this really what my Mayor has chosen to occupy his time? A $118 million budget deficit and he’s busy makin cheesy bets with the Myor of Chicago. Who’s trying to save my library hours?