As I was watching the Sharks lose another game to the Detroit Red Wings this weekend, I thought about the feelings of disappointment, lack of confidence and heartbreak that San Jose’s only sports team is putting us through for another year in a row. Then I thought about how those athletes must feel? Do they take it as hard as we do? Is a sweet victory greater for them than for us? And, in turn, is a horrible defeat, like the one on Saturday (and Wednesday for that matter), worse for them or for us?
I shook myself out of my malaise and decided to celebrate Cinco de Mayo (or Cinco de “Drinko” as it has become in this town) with some friends, but I could not quite get the sting of the Sharks loss out of my head. Everywhere I would go someone would mention the Sharks, or I would see some Sharks memorabilia in a bar or some hockey would show up on TV. And then the questions would come: how are we losing? And, can they really do this to us again?
As the night was coming to an end at C.B. Hannegan’s, I saw in front of me my possible answer. As I was sipping on a cocktail I looked across the bar to see none other than a Sharks player. There he was, beer in hand and a smile on his face, seemingly without a care in the world. How could this be? I just kept thinking (and, apparently, saying out loud, according to friends), “Look how happy he is,” and was almost envious that he could get over the game quicker than I could. It reminded me of a scene in the movie “Fever Pitch,” where, after the Boston Red Sox are down 3-0 in the World Series, Jimmy Fallon’s character and his friends, who are Red Sox die-hards, see three Red Sox players out to dinner, just laughing and having a good time. And this is when the characters realize: “They don’t care about us! Why should we care about them?” Then it dawns on them that “This is their JOB not their LIFE.”
A sad realization that I needed to come to, came to me that night. As much feeling and emotion that we put into our sports teams, the Sharks, Giants, Warriors, A’s, and the 49ers, what have they ever done for us? Sure, they give us good times and entertain us, but, in the end, just like most relationships for the Single Gal, they break your heart.
Maybe I need to start treating them like a fling—something that is fun while it lasts, and then just move on when it doesn’t work out. By the time this article appears, the Sharks will either have folded and lost or pushed the Red Wings to a Game 7. Here’s hoping I won’t have to be looking for any “rebound” relationships just yet.
The point, in my opinion, is to remember the difference between diversion, and obsession. Sports are a great way to share a few hours with friends and family, whether playing or observing. The highs and lows encountered during a game, or season, create a bonding opportunity within the community, and mirror the ebb and flow of the human condition.
The act of extreme fandom becomes a detriment when it is all consuming endeavor. Some fervent fans take sports to the extent of using it as a religious opiate; fanaticism is never a healthy state of mind.
Enjoy the game, and thrill to the highs and lows, but don’t ask it to replace something else that may be missing in your life.
The downs come with ups. How exciting is it to win a regular season game? You may ultimately hope for the Stanley Cup, World Series, Super Bowl, etcetera but you still feel good at the end of the day when your team wins. It brings spice to life at times when there is none involving you, so you invest yourself in the teams you feel represent you.
P.S. The extra sting comes from losing to the Red Wings and all their plastic fans. I’d rather have a wall built to keep them out of California than any Mexicans.
Amen Single Gal,
Thank you for writing this today. Although fans are disappointed the Sharks didn’t make it past this round, there is always next year…
My husband’s mood is often dictated by the outcome of each Sharks (or Giants) game. I constantly remind him that professional sports are meant for your enjoyment- it’s a game.
You hit the nail on the head: “This is their JOB not their LIFE.” The Sharks player you saw at CB’s has his priorities straight.
If it torments you and causes you grief (after the game ends), it is no longer fun.
It’s too bad that the Sharks didn’t get to the Finals. Perhaps if they did, the city wouldn’t have to pop for a new scoreboard.
In today’s Mercury News editorial, the paper expresses its support for the city to pay for half of some improvements and upgrades for the arena. I’m amazed that the paper failed to consider or mention that a new slick scoreboard/sound system is a canvass for selling more advertising. If the city is going to be asked to pay for half of the expenses, the city should receive half of any additional revenues generated by the upgrades.
Shouldn’t the Silicon Valley Sports and Entertainment Group be required to show their books and prove that they need a public subsidy, particularly given the fact that the city is cutting positions and programs?
Pete Campbell
Also in today’s Mercury News is an article about using former FMC lands for a proposed soccer stadium…HUH?! Can someone please explain to me why a city of nearly 1 million people is in the business of trying to lure minor league sports like MLS, Arena football, lacrosse…while our much smaller neighbors to the north (Santa Clara and Fremont) are busy going after the big fish, NFL/Niners and MLB/The A’s? This is sickening! The City of San Jose should be using the FMC lands to lure the Niners and money-making NFL football, not soccer. Think Super Bowl San Jose, not MLS Cup! 75 so acres will go a long way towards building a 68K seat football stadium, village and parking. The FMC site is also near Caltrain and future SC BART station. My beloved San Jose, you are the 10th largest city in the US (and largest without any sports team from the Big Three leagues)…START ACTING LIKE IT! By the way Single Gal, you forgot to mention the Raiders.
Sharks will never ever go past the 3rd round in the future due to psychological lapses. The Sharks will do really well during season games but falter during the middle of the hockey playoffs. They can go into second round easily, and that’s where their pyschology takes them. Beyond that, they break down mentally. They will run out of ideas to take on their opponents during the second round and make many small mistakes. I guarantee you guys that the Sharks will never get the cup in the future! That’s a promise, so don’t fool yourselves! Physically, they could, but mentally, they can’t! They’re still fun to watch but don’t get your hopes high that they’ll get the cup, ever.
Why do they falter mentally year after year? The players are all different so can we blame the coach? He’s the only thing that is the same with the last 3 mentally weak teams……food for thought.
How could I forget the Raiders? If the tables were turned and it was a Raider fan in my seat (probably in a Darth Vader mask with spikes on his/her shoulders) and a Raiders player across the bar, I would believe the situation would have escalated to something else!
Have you been reading the crap on San Jose Revealed and some other stupid blogs about Hon Lien?
It isn’t fair, because none of stuff being posted is worth reading. Here, on this blog, there is at least some degree of civility and attempt, as with this discussion on the Sharks, to make some legitimate points.
I hope I can continue to participate on this site where discussion about civic affairs. By the way, I think Hon is the best choice for District 4 just like the Sharks would be been the best choice for the NHL.
Single Gal,
Count your lucky stars that you care enough about the team to soar and suffer with them. Putting your heart behind a team in any sport is a good, healthy thing, even when it hurts. I feel sorry for those unable to care.
Consider the pain that all Sharks’ fans suffer today and realize that it is a community suffering together, a community that will soon come to accept that what’s done is done and alter its focus from the disappointment of this season to the promise of the next. Yes, our cup dreams have been quashed, and the efforts of our favorite players came up short, but we fans did, throughout the season, cheer together, hope together, mourn together. We witnessed players exhibiting incredible skills, inspiring effort, and considerable courage.
Not bad for the price of a ticket, or the investment of a bit of emotion.
How often does life present us a chance to care deeply about something in exchange for so little risk? Compare the cost of caring about the team to the price we pay for all the other things in which we invest our hearts and souls; things like family, friends, careers, principles, politics, war—things in which the toll can be heavy and the suffering lonely. Not so with the Sharks, where we can grieve together and soothe ourselves with talk of “next year.”
With a team we can demand from the players a level of perfection, risk-taking, obsession, and sacrifice that we know not to demand from our friends, our family, ourselves. With a team, it somehow seems reasonable for fans to measure performance and results in increments of dreams, an indulgence that is as pleasurable as it is immature. That we lament our team’s failure today is as much due to the imperfection of our measuring stick as it is to the imperfection of the team’s play on the ice. None of the failures on the ice seen during the playoffs were unprecedented during the regular season, no matter how much we’d like to deny it.
As for the beer-sipping Sharks’ player, rather than forming any conclusions about his level of emotional investment in the team’s success, I would instead conclude that for a professional athlete learning to manage a loss is just one more pain-management skill mastered through repetitious practice.
The team gave us fans reason to hope right to the very end. We should be so fortunate every year.
Mr. Dominguez, perhaps you missed the years and years of talking about how the A’s cannot move to San Jose. It looks like you did.
Also, have you even compared the Santa Clara and FMC sites? Are they the same size? If so, you might have a case. But then how would you feel when the 49ers keep the name “San Francisco” while playing in our bigger city? That’d certainly not be worth it in the pride department.
Furthermore, the city of over 4 million down south just landed the biggest sports star in the world. He’ll play in a “minor league,” as you call it. Yeah, that really makes sense.
Your short-sightedness reminds me of the mayor of San Antonio. His predecessor tried hard to land an MLS team. That city’s been over a million in population for years now, and yet still have just the Spurs. His city would have loved the team, I’m sure, as have other one-team towns (SLC, Columbus). So anyway, New Guy steps in and tells MLS to f*** off, since he wants the NFL in town and nothing else will do. Look how close that city is to getting an NFL team: not very. Soccer team: also a big no.
The Earthquakes were the first real team in San Jose. The first incarnation arrived in ‘74, when the NASL begged the owners to call them the “San Francisco Earthquakes.” I think that’s something worth bringing back and hanging on to if, especially it can be done without cost to the city.
I’m all for shooting high, but I’m not too stubborn to take what I can get.
All sports are the same, the players keep changing every year. The uniforms stay the same. In essence, we’re rooting for laundry.
Single Gal,
It is reassuring to know that there are people in our Village that lead with their hearts.
Saturday Evening, my family invited me to see that Golden Boy Producting Cinco de Mayo extravaganza at a sports bar in Fremont. Not being a betting man I simply decided this was a moment in time that would be a memorable event for my great little family.
My son put all his hope & love for the sport of boxing and his favorite opponent DeLa Hoya. betting 50 bucks with a friend.
I on the other hand felt a rematch in the works for Golden Boy Productions. The last 4 rounds assured me of another fine time with my Family enjoying each other. I miss leading with my heart. Perhaps with my many years, I understand the politics of money and Fame.
Perhaps I will surrender this year and try it on this Football Season.
Don’t give up on your heart. You and my son have made me realize how important it is to be in the moment with something we love. Our Lives!
The Hell with Heart Break, Bring it on Baby!
The Village Black Smith
Finfan –
You are so right. Its fun to have passion about the Sharks or any sports team – I fear I might turn into the character from Fever Pitch though – where it’s sabatoging his relationships and renders him unable to make plans during the season. Agh! But it does show passion and ability to throw your emotions behind something!
#13 – Nor will there be a soccer stadium built. Some NIMBY or BANANA will lead a successful disinformation campaign to stop it in its tracks. Why do you think AEG moved the old Earthquakes out of town in the first place. They saw the writing on the wall. The political climate here says “no” to everything first. And you wonder why San Jose doesn’t advance despite being the so-called “10th largest city”. There’s always some voice in the wilderness saying “no”.
Earthshaker,
For the record, I’m no longer opposed to pursuing an MLS team/stadium, and I am also quite confident Mr. Wolff will get the stadium built. My qualm is that San Jose should ALSO be going after a team from the Big Three sports leagues, and the former FMC lands would go a long way towards landing a NFL (Niners) franchise and stadium. Yes, MLB’s stupid anti-trust exemption will keep baseball out of our beautiful city, but such territorial arrogance does not exist in the NFL or NBA. San Jose can do both Earthshaker; go after MLS and The Big Three! By the way, I’m confident Major League Baseball will one day find its way to San Jose…however, it most likely won’t be in my lifetime (sigh).
AD – watch for Lew Wolff to play fast and loose with the MLB territorial restrictions. The Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim proved in the courts that your team can take on the identity of any nearby city it wants to. Watch Wolff move the team to Fremont, as close to San Jose as he can “legally” go, but brand the team as “San Jose”. Oakland will likely object, San Francisco will certainly object, MLB will obviously object, but there’s already court precedent provided so it will stick. The A’s are coming to “San Jose”, in a way.
#6. Hey Anthony Dominguez. A 49er stadium in Santa Clara is going to cost the good citizens of that city at least $160 million. Chuck Reed will not spend a dollar of public money on a sports stadium. And by the way Anthony, there is a good chance Lew Wolff will get a soccer stadium built in this city, but, just to remind you, since it hasn’t quite sunk in yet for you, THERE WILL NEVER BE A MAJOR LEAGUE BASEBALL STADIUM IN SAN JOSE. GET OVER IT!
Wow! Who’d expect such a wise and poetic blog with the Sharks at its base. Finfan at his very best, with AD and everyone putting their best effort forward. Civil and thoughtful expression on Tom’s blogosphere. I hope Jack is collecting the best of these, while sprinkling in just a few of the very badly done, rude contributions for contrast. A San Jose Inside Collection would be a treasure, if not a best seller. George Green
SingleGal,
Why don’t you meet FinFan for a drink?
It sounds like you might have a lot in common…
Yenta Blandbung
The reason the Sharks lost to the Red Wings is plain and simple…The Red Wings are a better team…That’s why they are seeded No. 1 in the West…
Yes, they were a better team, but they had them down and out and didn’t finish them off. That was the kiss of death….
#17, if the 49ers do end up in Santa Clara, then San Jose will have an NFL team approximately one mile from its city limits. San Jose will have an NFL stadium in closer proximity than cities such as Boston, New York, Dallas, and Washington, and its taxpayers won’t have to spend a dime to make it happen. It won’t have “San Jose” in the team’s name, but I guess you can’t have everything. If a Super Bowl is ever played in the stadium, you can bet that San Jose will play a big role in hosting the surrounding hoopla, and its hotel rooms will be full.
I also would like to see an NBA team at the Arena. The Warriors would fight it, but I think the Bay Area can support a second team.
A new scoreboard is best used for sharper advertising. A new speaker system is for concerts, not the Sharks. Concerts make $$. Why is the city paying anything toward this?
#10—WAY off thread.
Number six, where have you been. Don’t you think the city has tired. Susan Hammers administration blew it paying a fortune to Stan Berlinger to get the Giants here. Paying for half score board is nothing compared to what they ahve paid trying to get a team. If they got one the citizens wouldn’t approve an arena again because there is no Tom McEnery to work for it. Do you think the citizens would approve a stadium for the niners or gaints, I don’t think so.