This weekend I had the distinct pleasure of celebrating not one, but two engagements over appetizers and wine. There was lots of talk of weddings and babies, but—best of all—the parties were great for seeing old friends and reminiscing, which is right up the Single Gal’s alley. I spent the earlier part of the evening in a gorgeous house in Willow Glen with civilized people and cosmos, while the second half of the evening was spent in a cute condo in Los Gatos having nice glasses of wine. (Don’t worry—Single Gal wasn’t over her legal limit when driving.)
I was probably the only single person at the first party, and at the second, my single friend was anxiously awaiting my arrival to have some company.
It was a nice evening with nice people, but it got me to thinking: San Jose is really great for the engaged and the married—the ideal city for the coupled. The area is so close to skiing, the wine country, the beach and “the City,” and I can’t think of a better place to raise kids. It is diverse and, growing up here, kids see that people are open-minded and intelligent (for the most part). So, does this ideal place for families not hold the same benefits for the Single Gal? Would my luck with men fare better in a place not so great for families?
Most cities have experienced an exodus from the big city to the suburbs, leaving no gray areas. In places like New York and Chicago, if you are single you live within the city limits and if you are married you live in the ‘burbs. San Jose is a place where those lines are crossed; I live 10 minutes from both my married and my single friends.
But Single Gal is starting a new grassroots campaign to show that it can be fun for both. I refuse to believe that a place that has it all for families can’t have it all for singles too.
Gal, The quality of your life really depends on how You live it. It is up to you to chase after your dreams. If you let other people look for it, oftentimes, what they find is not what you really want.
Just like downtown San Jose, its success or failure depends on the support of its own residents, not from the expectation that people from Willow Glen or Almaden will come and flock to it. Neither can outsiders define its own character.
Gal, both parties you went to were in areas that have their own downtown. Particularly in Los Gatos, you have both worlds already. Plenty of singles still hit the bars in LG and yet that town is so family friendly I want to puke.
If LG was still the haven for Kerouac and Steinbeck types that it used to be (and remember when fun groups like Dan Hicks & the Hot Licks used to play LG in the 60’s & 70’s?) and wasn’t so overly neighborly and full of itself with perfect people walking their dogs in packs of like 15, I’d still consider it desirable as a place to live, but not anymore.
But I digress, as this is about having the best of both worlds, not just one world like I’d prefer in that town.
Bottom line, Gal, is that it’s possible to have this type of coexistence and maybe once downtown SJ gets built up with more residential, you’ll have what you’re looking for with excitement for singles downtown and the option of a picket fence home to go to outside the core when you’re done partying.
J walker –
If I were, I would have a dog as an accessory, and I would rather die before sticking an animal in a purse!
MarK T – I agree totally!
Four days in a row on this blog—politics has been absent.
Our attention has been diverted, away from the scandal in the District Attorney’s Office to more benign comments regarding the Sharks, Freaking, San Jose History and, now, party girls.
Where is the outrage? Where are the pitch forks, torches, tar, feathers, investigations, grand jury indictments, incessant calls for resigantion and cleaning up the government for which the board is prominently known?
Where are the Reed Reforms on the District Attorneys Office? (He is a lawyer). Where is the Cortese press conference asking the DA to refrain from any further prosecutions until the matter is fully investigated? Where is the outrage from press, public and elected officials for the gross misrepresentation of facts used by the District Attorney’s Office to convict innocent people?
The “white silence” is deafening—if George Kennedy’s name had been George Gonzales would we not have the appropriate outrage?
NOTE: I cannot take full credit for the term “white silence” as it was given to me by a friend to describe the double standard in our community for politicians of different hues.
But the obvious disparity in outrage—between the actions of GK and RG makes hypocrites of us all.
I drove to Seattle this past week to visit my daughter and grandson. As I passed through Portland, I could not help but compare the Metropolitian Portland area with that of San Jose.
First, Portland is a CITY. Tall buildings, people in the streets and a downtown shopping area were visible.
Then there was the light-rail system that actually goes someplace. People really ride the rails from home to work and back. They can also ride downtown for some fun in the evening and get back home without the need to pay outrageous parking fees.
I was amazed to learn that the population of Portland, the city, not the metro area, was about half that of San Jose. And yet it felt vibrant and alive unlike San Jose that, in my opinion, dies after the sun sets except for miles of crusiers messing up traffic on Santa Clara Street.
While having dinner in a nice little cafe overlooking the Columbia River, I spoke to some Portland natives who seemed very open and friendly.
There again was a contrast. I know people in my own neighborhood who can’t even give the last name of the people who live next door. And God forbid that anyone should strike up a conversation with a stranger or even say hello as a courtesy while riding in an elevator.
Another thing I noticed was that people were smiling a lot. It was refreshing to see that given that the weather was the worst that it has been in years. I bring up the weather because bad weather usually makes people depressed and unhappy. Not so in Portland.
Politically, Portland is to the left of San Jose but things seem to get done without a stigma being attatched to them. I did not ask about garbage contracts however.
PDX,Portland’s international airport, is easy to get to from two major Interstate Highways, parking is easy to find there and it too sits along side the Columbia River with a landing pattern that doesn’t prohibit the building of large office buildings and hotels downtown.
So, Single Gal, people live in big cities, they party there, they shop there and they find places to get out of the rain there. And I believe Portlanders are, for the most part, a happy group of people. And they do have a basketball team.
(DISCLAIMER)
I do not like rain and have never lived in Portland. I don’t even like basketball but I do like the people of Portland. Perhaps because I have found them to be, for the most part, unpretentious and without attitude.
Maybe it’s who they are not where they are.
Gelvey, what, are you nuts? Downtown San Jose is way better than Portland’s. There’s no Tech museum, Gonzo dome, Martin Luther library, HP Pavillion and children’s museum in downtown Portland. At night, are you kidding? San Jose is way more bustling than Portland’s. Downtown Portland nightlife scene is ridden with violence, and there are alot fewer clubs in downtown. Most of the actions are in the Pearl district of Portland which is not downtown. In fact, downtown San Jose has all the office and hotel highrises you can possibly want. Now, there are several residential highrises underway in downtown San Jose. San Jose has the best downtown in the U.S. since we got the new city hall and grand prix racing event. Now, let’s get out of the fog. I’m certainly out of it.
Rich,
If you take a look at JMO’s comments on Randy’s post from last week, you’ll be brought up to speed on this blog’s purpose.
Sports and daily life are part of the mix we’re supposed to be discussing here per the founder of this blog.
It’s OK with me if we stop beating the dead garbage deal horse once in a while.
Fed UP
Your last sentence says it all.
But will you remind me again about that amazing Gran Prix. Couldn’t seem to find it in any of my visits downtown last month.
I will admit however that I saw the Gonzo Dome at night for the first time. WOW, I’m impressed sort of as sailors were impressed in the 1700’s.
But then maybe you meant the Cruzin’ Gran Prix known as America’s slowest race. Lotta cops though.
Gelvey, it’s been about 25 years since I was in Portland but even back then I was impressed. The trolley system was fairly new and Henry Weinhard’s was still a premium brand of beer, made in that great old brick building, not too much unlike the old Frederickburg brewery building that SJ allowed to be torn down.
Here’s the deal as I see it. Portland is a much older and established town than SJ. Their downtown has a size, scope and scale appropriate for the population. SJ’s downtown was built out for retail, etc. to serve a town of about 100K before it started its decline. Now SJ is 10 times larger and is having to create a downtown of appropriate scale and replace the many blocks of retail frontage that fell victim to the urban renewal craze of the 60’s and then to the redevelopment grand plan of the 80’s.
To me, this is the main problem in SJ. Our downtown is going to be playing catch-up for many years into the future.
Portland also has a waterfront, which is something any city of note across the globe also has, but not SJ. We wouldn’t even be having this discussion if SJ had a waterfront, in my opinion.
Mark T,
I fully agree with your comments about SJ v.Portland with one possible exception.
No waterfront? Whats Alviso for a sewerage treatment plant?
Years ago Alviso was San Jose’s waterfront and a major shipping point for fruits and nuts. (No, not that kind).
I also did some quick research on the safety of SJ compared to Portland. According to the FBI National crime stats., San Jose is BETTER than Portland, read that safer, by a large margin. In fact, major crimes are about double the rate of San Jose’s per 1000 population.
I don’t dislike SJ but, I sure wish it had some direction. Every time I find a good place to eat, I can’t find it on a second visit…third at best.
Perhaps in the future we’ll annex that smaller town up north. You know San Francisco.
On the other hand, I wouldn’t wish that on any city.
“white silence”?
Looks like someone fell off the koolaid wagon again.
In #5 above, Richard (no last name needed here) raises an interesting point about the disparity of outrage toward George Kennedy and Ron Gonzales.
I think this is an appropriate question to ask, but the answer probably lies in the fact that local residents have been marinated in a Gonzales sauce served by the Mercury News for quite some time, whereas the focus on Kennedy is relatively recent, and time is required for residents to digest the situation.
In addition, mayoral actions are written louder and demonstrated more clearly than the machinations of the inner workings of the district attorney’s office. The latter are a relatively unknown quantity to the public.
I experienced “overzealous” treatment by a similar prosecutor once in my life 32 years ago, and I know that the picture drawn by the Mercury News is completely true to form. I defeated the accusation, but I was glad (and saddened) to see a documented study demonstrating how easily a prosecutor can pervert justice for social, racial, or political reasons.
Kennedy has had a long reign of arrogance. He was even a bully outside his office. I observed him in late 2004 demand to bet $10,000 with a low-income person on a question about a ballot initiative—inside a Christian church—just to silence the respectful, but poor, advocate.
Then the pastor had to shut Kennedy up with the observation that there would be no gambling in his Christian church. Yes, George Kennedy deserves the full measure of community scorn that has been heaped on the head of Ron Gonzales.
PS: An interesting characteristic shared by Ron and George is that both have prepared women as successors to office, both of whom will suffer because of their mentors’ failure to observe accepted community moral and ethical standards.
I had a feeling someone would bring up Alviso when I mentioned a waterfront. But that is hardly a bustling port that’s spanned by bridges such as in Portland. Apples and oranges in my humble opinion. Alviso should have been developed as a marina & harbor after that questionable vote to annex happened in 1968. After all, that’s what it was back in the day. Now there’s some lame plan to get it back on track as a somewhat viable marina. Better late than never, I guess.
Gelvey, you are so correct. This town has no direction.
I figured it out. Are you the blond chick from Legally Blond?
Mark T
I disagree. This town does have a direction.
Sadly, that direction seems to be down.
SINGLE GIRL WHY DON’T THEY HAVE DIVORCE PARTIES. NOW THAT WOULD BE FUN. YOU COULD HAVE ALL THE DIVORCED PEOPLE AND NO MARRIEDS ALLOWED. YOU MIGHT HAVE A BETTER CHANCE OF FINDING A GUY IF YOU STARTED THESE PARTIES. MOST OF THE DIVORCED MEN ARE SHELL SHOCKED AND NEED A WOMAN TO TAKE CARE OF THEM. YOU KNOW A MAN CAN’T MAKE IT WITHOUT A WOMAN TO TAKE CARE OF HIM. THAT IS WHY SO MANY SINGLE MEN MOVE BACK IN WITH THEIR PARENTS THEY CAN’T TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES.
San Jose “the capital of nothing”
The Tech museum is losing millions and will probably close one day.
Gonzo’s dome takes half a million to clean!
What idiot thought that a clear glass dome was a good idea? “Transparency in Government” I do not think so. An idiot move for an ugly office tower with a glass egg to the side.
Martin Luther library
Hardly anyone really uses it and some of the people that work there do not know anything.
HP Pavilion
This is the only thing this city has going, but one day the Sharks will want a larger venue or a newer place.
Children’s museum
Another joke of a museum that is losing millions as well.
Downtown San Jose office and hotel highrises are not highrises at all. Small dinky looking building that shame any person who says look at our Downtown “what downtown?”
Grand prix racing
This is a fade that will go away. How many times will the city of San Jose continue to subsidize an event that is losing money, even though the promoters claim that they are making money? That does not make sense.
On Baseball
This another scam Gonzo and his administration have used to confuse the people. We will never get a baseball team.
On Bart
This is another joke that keeps getting worse. FIgures for getting Bart keep going out of reach. At the rate they are projecting Bart to the South Bay I will be very old or dead before the train even reaches San Jose. First it was by 2010, then 2015, 2017, 2020, and now 2025 to 2030. They might as well say never. It will never happen.
On population size
Our current city size is peaking, eventually you will see San Jose’s population shrink, and it might shrink to a size smaller then San Francisco’s current population. Remember this city cannot keep growing and growing. All cities decrease in size. San Jose will eventually start to shrink.
I like your divorce party idea.
It sure makes more sense to give a divorce gift, since when a household splits up somebody is going to end up without a toaster.
Just drop this idea on Macy’s and watch them run with it.
I’ve been married for 20 years.. Since I was 17, Don’t I get a gift for being married that long? <sniff> Just kidding..