Seen as a Move to Make Team “WNBA-Tough”

In a bold first move by new San Jose Sharks head coach Todd McLellan, the former player-coach of the Charlestown Chiefs, Reggie Dunlap, was hired as an assistant for what many in the NHL see as a fortitude-toughening measure to steel the men in teal for a run at the Stanley Cup and hockey legitimacy.

Shark team advisers, Mike Ricci and Bryan Marchment, known for their smash-mouth, scrappy hockey styles, have been lobbying coach McLellan (forms filled out and on record with the city clerk’s office) to bring on the aging but tough-nosed Dunlap in order to get the team to play more like women.

That’s right, women—like those involved in the knock-down brawl in a recent game between the Los Angeles Sparks and the Detroit Shock.

“Being called ‘soft’ is not a very endearing term,” Ricci says about the sports slur sometimes hurled towards teams of the past. “So we will work with coach to shape the team into a tougher, grislier brawling machine—like those found in the WNBA.”

Mr. Dunlap, known for turning a blind eye to a little dirty trick or two, and a big fan of the kind of bare-knuckled defense known to bring championships to teams with smaller skill sets, says he may even consider a regime of estrogen injections.

“It worked great for Reneé Richards,” he said.