Loss Directly Attributable to Lack of Play Book
Larry Emilio Maschino has struck again. The mysterious man who posed as a rich, generous patron of the arts promising to lavish the community with millions in donations, ended up on the bench of the Southern Illinois Saluki basketball team posing as their head coach in a close loss to the Kansas Jayhawks.
“THEY HAD NO CHANCE, BABY!” said ESPN announcer Dick Vitale. “THE FIX WAS IN AND EMILIO WAS NO GOOD, BABY! FLIM-FLAM WITH A CAPITAL ‘F.’ AWESOME!”
Although the University of Kansas has not made an official comment, the team spokesman expressed his sympathies for the plight of the Saluki team, but also wondered how a school with a strung-out, effeminate, terrorist dog as a mascot hoped to topple the mighty Jayhawks anyway.
Dozens of Southern Illinois campus security guards were flown in late Thursday night to piece together the strange events that led up to the bizarre coaching scam.
“He said he coached both the North Carolina Tar Heels and the Indiana Hoosiers to national championships,” said Southern Illinois assistant coach Michael LoMonaco. “We thought that was a pretty good resumé.”
In related news, Stanford University asked for permission from NCAA officials to talk to Mr. Maschino about a possible coaching position with the Cardinal.
“We want to gauge his interest in the women’s game or maybe even football,” said Athletic Director Bob Bowlsby.
What is a Saluki anyway???? What a great game at HP…..
I was surprised that the town wasn’t as festive as it has been in previous years. Could it be the specific teams involved??
I agree. I didn’t see many Pitt fans. Kansas and UCLA were well represented though.
All I know is that it really was MAN JOSE last night!
I attended the games and saw many empty seats. I don’t know if that was because certain fans left after the first game and weren’t interested in the second or if San Jose can’t pull off the big events like other cities.
5: The Bay Area will never be amped about college sports. If those teams don’t draw their own fans, that’s their problem.
Kudos to San Jose State and City of San Jose. I agree with many comments made in the SJ Mercury referring to San Jose as being a perfect venue for the Final Four Regionals. I’ve attended all 3 that have been held and embraced each one as a successful event. You can’t beat the selection of downtown restaurants and adult beverage establishments to meet folks from all over the USA. It also helped that the Western Region had the pick of the litter in magical teams.
A few notes for the committee in 2010: Speak to your local merchants to make sure they open up their establishments at an appropriate time so the revelers can start their partying. Several complaints on some of the “watering holes” not opening until late in the day; plus having appropriate number of workers to handle the crowd – this was definitely a problem. I’m withholding names to protect the innocent.
Another suggestion – get some banners at the airport. I’ve attended several Final Fours in other locations and that’s a great welcoming tool.
Overall – You Did a Great Job San Jose!!