“If I Misappropriated Public Funds”—A Hypothetical Conspiracy Confession
The embattled former book publisher, Judith Regan, has been rehired by Harper Collins to publish outgoing mayor Ron Gonzales’s hypothetical conspiracy confession, “If I Misappropriated Public Funds.”
The book—outweighing all the Harry Potter books combined with a massive 5,398 pages—is full of gut wrenching “would-be” emotions and paints a sensational and scandalous picture of an eight year romp of “might-have-been” unethical, immoral and reckless actions that “could have” culminated in the first indictment of a major political figure in the city in over 150 years, dating back to the Legislature of a Thousand Drinks.
As Gonzales awaits trial, he will reportedly receive a whopping $3.5 million to write about the bribery and conspiracy charges leveled against him and his deputy Joe Guerra over the Norcal trash imbroglio.
Gonzales’s agent has stressed that he is not actually confessing to the murder—er, crime; rather, he is dictating his “hypothetical” story in which all of the gruesome details of backroom deals, payoffs, and symbolic messages delivered via dead fish wrapped in newspaper are related.
“It’s a very disturbing book,” said Terry Christensen, a political science professor at SJSU. “The descriptions of council votes and barrel-chested Teamsters are so detailed and so chillingly realistic that there is no doubt that this will be a national bestseller.”
I thought John wrote an article for the Merc today when I saw the front page article “Mayor’s next move: his own business.” What a surprise, he is going to be a lobbyist. Only a matter of time before he gets in trouble with this. How many are ready to line up to pay this guy to assist them? What’s his slogan going to be—“No indictments since 2006”?
Hopefully he won’t follow the lead of his former staffers in violating the city’s revolving door policy, but don’t count on it. All of us need to keep an eye on this guy and still hang on to our wallets.
Other than that, happy holidays to all (even Gonzo).
Contrary to what #2says this is another great idea. Love the stuff. Gonzo is going right where he sent his former staff into illegal consulting. What is wrong with those coucil people. He should be banned from City Hall maybe even San jose.
Larry Stone, and his trustee valet, Kevin Moore, will be hiring Ron Gonzales to manage the 49er stadium. Norcal has the contract for trash, of course.
Hilarious article today! Guess taxpayer is a little digruntled? Property Taxes due and got you blue?
All things considered, including the “flowery” write up in the Merc. this morning about Gonzales, San Jose is to see a new dawning—- January begins a new era of open / transparent government.
But, there still remains the “GARBAGE” left from the previous administration. The new administration will be like the farmer who has to put on his boots, grab his shovel and head to the barn to clean out the piles of manure before it rots the place. I’m afraid there will be a lot of shoveling to be done and very little money to buy all the needed tools. Perhaps if “$11 million” were able to be returned, some of the tools could be bought.
Concerned Citizen
We need to increase the ” revolving door ” prohibited time before former Mayors, Council members and staffers or family members can ” lobby ” city government to 4 years or more or we will have ” more of the same different names and scandals ”
John,
How about one of your spoofs on Mr. High Class Philippe Azoulay’s, manager of The Grill, quote in the Merc [1] complaining about low class carnival ride operators? Maybe a self-guide to determine if one is classy enough to eat in Mr. Azoulay’s restaurant.
[1] http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/16280616.htm
My email to Presencia Investments:
Dear ex-mayor Gonzales:
My company desires to invest 1… hundred… BILLION dollars with your firm. We’ve been turned down by other investment companies because they object to the fact this money was extorted.. uh raised by threatening to destroy the world with “lasers”. My research has show that you are somewhat morally ambiguous (BTW,can you show me how to dump Frau Farbissina for someone half her age?) and wouldn’t object to the source of the funds. Please contact me at your earliest convenience.
Best Regards,
Dr. Evil
Downtown business Beggars can’t be choosers –
Businesses who depend on the generosity of taxpayers are in no position to dictate what others give them while residents go without adequate community centers, pools and city services.
Fairmont, The Grill and others always
ask for city / redevelopment for business tax subsidies, or expect city to pay for all downtown events like Grand Prix then Complain and Cry poor
If Fairmont, The Grill etc want ” high class ” downtown events have them pay for them rather than ask for more city tax subsidies or donate money to rent / buy uniforms for carnival ride operators and other events
How long do you suppose it will take before Gonzo’s “consulting” business is raising eyebrows at City Hall?
Sadly, Gonzales the “consultant” will likely be welome in the offices of several current Councilmembers who still, after all this time, just don’t get it.
Note to Rick Doyle: Keep a copy of those ethics rules in the top drawer.
I know it’s the holidays John but is this the best you can do ?
I can’t stand the butthead, but this post is weak & lame. come on you can do better than this really…
Here’s something that slipped by inder the radar…
Not even 10 days after watching her candidates get trounced on November 7th, Phaedra Ellis-Lampkins quietly resigned from the Sunshine Refgorm Taskforce.
Has she given up? Or are her days at the labor temple numbered, so she’s just clearing her desk, item by item?
This could have been a bright spot for open government… but Bob Brownstien was appointed to fill her vacancy. Yes, the same Bob Brownstien that explained to a group of United Neighborhoods members that his greatest accomplishment – the Children’s Health Initative – could never have gained traction if council members had to disclose private meetings they had with him. He clearly said how important it was that they operate in secret until they knew they had enough votes to get it approved by the council.
And this is the man that is helping craft the sunshine reforms! Can you say, “the loopholes are coming! the loopholes are coming!”
With Mayor Ron’s political currency in San Jose pretty well spent, wearing Finkelsteins’ electronic shock collar and with few in City Hall wanting to be seen with him, he’s moved on to other things; no, not to “K” street and Jack Abramhoff’s operation now in the midst of downsizing and paper shredding. No, Mayor Ron’s moving on to niche market opportunities closer to home, but out of San Jose. He’s hooking up with Richard Pombo in a new venture specializing in both Land Use and Labor Law. One of the terms of his new employment is that he be allowed time off to “consult” with and advise Santa Clara County’s Deputy District Attorney on bribery and conspiracy issues.
We wish you all the best Ron. Have a great Christmas and a prosperous New Year.
#11
Good point. Are the owners of the Fairmont working up to asking for an other subsidy? Aren’t they the same folks that cost taxpayers an extra $11’000,000 in order to move the Montgomery Hotel, making way for the Fairmont Annex? So why no complaints from the Mongomery Hotel? Perhaps because they have a higher occupantcy rate. Oh well, I guess it costs lots of money to build a baseball park in Fremont and run an unsuccessful mayorial campaign.
Actually, it was Gonzales that cost us the $11 million+ to move the Montgomery, although the Fairmont folks refused to consider any other alternative. If the mayor and council has said the Montgomery will stay where it is and told the Fairmont folks to incorporate it into their design, the $11 million+ could have been put to better use.