Prominent Lobbyists Receive Humanitarian of the Year Award

Pair File Lawsuit for Defamation of Character

Just one day after prominent lobbyists Tony Arreola and Sharanjit “Sean” Kali-Rai received word that they were the joint recipients of this year’s Papal Humanitarian of the Year Award, they filed a lawsuit against the Vatican claiming their reputations in the lobbyist community had been irreparably damaged.

Court documents revealed that Arreola and Kali-Rai, partners in Silicon Valley Strategies, are vehemently opposed to the tenets of the award and its symbolism and rejected the private audience with the Pope that goes along with the framed plaque that memorializes the designation.

Leaders from the “development consultant” community in Silicon Valley expressed horror and dismay that such an egregious attack could be leveled at one of their own, and from the Catholic church “of all places.”

“You can imagine what this will do to their business,” said Ed Alvarez, one of the consultants.  “To be accused of ‘outstanding past and present community service, possessing high ethical ideals, instilling goodwill and friendship, and promoting open government for the fairness of all?’  Ugh!  Might as well lop off their balls.”

In order to combat the negative publicity, the two lobbyists hired Anthony Pelicano, notorious private investigator and thug to the stars, to stage a break-in at their headquarters in San Jose disguised as a raid by county authorities. Among the items allegedly “seized as evidence” were several commercial-sized shredders, dozens of suitcases full of cash and two City Hall monthly parking passes.

“This should leave no doubt in anyone’s mind that we’re not so-called ‘humanitarians,’” scoffed Mr. Arreola.

Arreola and Kali-Rai have a highly specialized clientele and, according to their marketing literature, differ from other lobbyists that guide businesses with matters before the city by narrowing their focus to representing businesses “that have matters before Ron Gonzales.”

11 Comments

  1. It’s a shame that some of the lobbyists ruin the whole business.  You ought to send your material to Saturday Night Live – they need some new and funny humor to bring it back to the old days when it was very funny.

  2. Dear San Jose:

    When Mr. Kali-Rai was an aide to the mayor, I had some direct contact with him when I tried to contact the mayor’s office on an issue related to the old Town & Country Shopping Center.  Mr. Kali-Rai said that he would speak to the mayor about my issue and that someone would get back to me.  Of course, no one ever did.  (I guess I wasn’t on the “list.”) 

    Speaking of the Gonzales machine, did you read how Gonzo is claiming that he leaves San Jose better of than when he first came to office?  Does anyone really believe that (besides those who benefited from one of his behind-the-scenes deals?)  San Jose has the worst roads in the country, can’t open its swimming pools in the Summer, and builds centers that it can’t staff. 

    Pete Campbell

  3. Variety reports that Arreola & Kali-Rai have been hired by NBC to replace Howie Mandel as hosts of Deal or No Deal, in which contestants vie for suitcases full of cash.

    “Their natural ability to feel comfortable around large amounts of undocumented cash was what made the difference in our eyes,” said NBC CEO Jeff Zucker

  4. Lobbyists are a part of the natural environment of politics.  They have a job to do, and when done well, they give our community projects, developments, and progress that wouldn’t necessarily have received the right amount of attention from our elected officials.  Politicians might not have the time to cull through intricate details of massive reports on development proposals that they can get in an articulate and organized presentation from someone that knows the deal intimatley – a lobbyist.  Of course they are going to get paid for their efforts like we all expect of our own work.

    The focus should be on the politicians, not the lobbyists.  The culture is fueled and nurtured by them.  If Gonzales wanted to kill the species, he could have.  He chose to be lazy – or liked the comraderie with his posse – and continued to receive them and deal with them with disasterous consequences (his hand-picked successor’s opponent successfully crafted a whole campaign around it).

  5. Monte is on it!!

    It’s a shame that the Gonz is gone.  What would a third term have been like?  hmm…

    Weekly Channel 26 broadcasts where labor, lobbyists, and developers go to CH to spin the big wheel for fabulous perks and prizes.

    Emcee Mayor Ron regaling the special interest audience with calls of “Come on down!”

    Nora and Judy showcase showdown modeling in front of a choice chunk of Coyote open space scenery.

    And after they’ve spun – “Tell ‘em what they’ve won Forrest!”

    *That would’ve been fun*.

  6. The next Deal or No Deal spin of Wheel of “Special Interest” Fortune is Evergreen with the same cast of lobbyists, developers, labor and business deal makers who have been busy for months making deals with each other to benefit themselves not public  

    Will we see the same cast of non San Jose groups telling us how it is great for San Jose when their cities do not allow housing development but only want new jobs and retail malls

    We will get to see if our new Mayor and City Council government can actually deliver on

    Honesty about Evergreen pluses and minuses and it’s long term effects with required reductions in more city services and staff time for other parts of city

    Fiscally Responsible to taxpayers by telling us about Evergreen’s immediately and long term impact city budget to pay for a development project that primarily benefits the developers and special interest groups not public and taxpayers

    Open Government that has public meetings before City Council vote to discusses how Evergreen will reduce available land for jobs, parks and open space while increasing traffic congestion, pollution, and problems for surrounding areas

  7. Congratulations to Jude Barry, Tom McEnery, John McEnery, Pete Campbell, Richard Robinson, Single Gal, Dale Warner, RoseGarden Dad, you are part of the blogosphere, which has been named PERSON OF THE YEAR by Time Magazine.  San Jose Inside and other blogs were part of the overall award. 

    By the way, when it comes to lobbyists, at least San Jose is registering them, and at least Chuck Reed wants to continue to do that.  In Santa Clara, we have Kevin Moore, lobbying the 49ers without disclosing anything to the public.

    http://www.missioncitylantern.blogspot.com, is not a worthy compliment to San Jose Inside, but we are trying.

    Keep up the good work all of you!!!

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