Marking Will Raise Awareness and Legitimize Worldwide Concern
Following the dubious and controversial path set by fashion designer Mark Ecko when he purchased Barry Bonds’s home run baseball, conducted an online public poll, and ultimately branded the Cooperstown-bound ball with an asterisk, the International Olympic Committee (IOC) has bowed to public pressure and decided to place an asterisk on the Olympic torch.
“Our hands were tied,” explained IOC President Jacques Rogge. “The torch became a polarizing political symbol as soon as Richard Gere, Archbishop Desmond Tutu and San Jose Councilman Forrest Williams attached their names to it.”
During a hastily organized press conference in an undisclosed warehouse somewhere in an unspecified Bay Area city, IOC officials explained that the asterisk is meant to represent all the combined concerns of the world’s population.
“We believe this to be the best compromise,” offered Mr. Rogge. “This brings attention to the human rights violations in Tibet, addresses concern over performance enhancing drugs in amateur sport and even legitimizes gripes over code violations in your neighbors rogue family room addition.”
The Baseball Hall of Fame is negotiating post-Olympic display rights for the torch which will be added to their growing collection of branded materials. The new Asterisk Wing of the Hall, just completed in February, contains the Bonds ball, Marion Jones’s track shoes, George W’s inauguration bible and San Jose’s “Little Saigon” sign.
There’s actually a bit of historical significance attached to the word ‘asterisk’.
It was coined by the great American patriot, Nathan Hale, who, as he stood on the gallows awaiting execution by the British declared, “my only regret is that I have but one asterisk for my country”.
It`s time to get even John! Lets send those drug dealers in Oakland, Hayward and san Leandro that operate on and off Bart to San Jose to start a war with our San Jose Gangs. Maybe those East Bay Gangs can teach our gangs how a cow eats cabage. “Build BART to Silicon Valley”, San Jose can finance the BART project with drug money using contributions from the East Bay Gangs. If we build those big BART parking lots and get our car brakeins up to 49 burgularies per day like they have in the BART system. With our shortage of police officers these East Bay Gangs coming down on BART can have a hay day.
Maybe we could establish another not for profit to help these gang leaders out, only if the share their profits with the downtown merchants assn.
How about building some low income apartments in Berryessa for these Gangs to operate out of. We could provide them with new, young recruits from the apartments, while both their parents are at work. Ten years from now we will have another RDA district with all the blight we will create in Berryessa. Then we can send our developers and San Jose Insiders into Berryessa and build somemore high density high rises and make some more bucks.
Just think of the preofits John!
I’ll hold out for the ‘Norcal Garbage Contract’ traveling exhibit.
If US citizens started protesting against the outrageous price of medical care, pharmaceutical companies, and the way insurance providers screw us daily, the way they protested China’s treatment of human beings in Tibet, we’d have Universal Health Care like other countries by now!