“Independent” Needed For Review of Beltway Madam’s Records

In an unprecedented show of bipartisanship, a large group of powerful politicians from both sides of the aisle have retained the services of Stanford swim coach Skip Kenney in an effort to combat the recent “diversion” that has engulfed Washington D.C. and titillated a nation.

“We want the list!  We want the list!” screamed a large crowd of several thousand interns that had gathered outside the capitol building in order to try and turn the fledgling scandal into a full-blown public political disemboweling.

But several sources close to the johns, uh, the group, report that the main goal, really the only goal of their efforts, is exactly the opposite. 

“We need to protect the innocence of a misinformed public,” said Presidential candidate and group spokesman, Newt Gingrich, “by first having Mr. Kenney thoroughly review the ‘client list’ for distortions and misprints, and correct any records he feels need alteration.”

But critics of the group say that nefarious eradication may be done in order to protect the guilty.

“We ran three names through the records database of Stanford University,” said Steve Botto, Executive Director of the Anti-Record Expunging Project, “and we could find absolutely no evidence of anyone by the name of John Elway, Bill Walsh or Jennifer Azzi.  Need I say more?”

In related news, De Anza College is inviting the Duke lacrosse players to join their recently-depleted baseball team in order to finish the upcoming season with a full squad.