Eye-Hand Coordination Screening Rejected
In a test case that has the eyes of the nation focused on California, a newly formed state oversight committee has mandated that all elected officials undergo neurological testing as a result of the ping-pong match State Senator Carole Migden was having with her car, the Highway 12 guardrail and other vehicles for no apparent reason.
“We want to stress that this is just a precaution,” said Executive Director Stan Case of the Committee to Identify Future Inexplicable Behavior. “Innocent until proven wacky.”
Ultimately, the committee says that testing will be expanded to all potential candidates involved in a campaign, preferably before the primaries, to uncover the potential of a “Perot Gene,” or chemical imbalances that may cause embarrassing, zany or worse, deviant behavior.
“We’ve all seen politicians take crazy positions on very commonsensical issues,” said political analyst Larry Gerston. “It is just the dangerous behavior that is of the most concern.”
Nora Campos frequently blames her inane votes on “medical events” that seem to cause blackouts. “I don’t remember many council meetings,” she explained, “but I’ve been there for every vote!”
The committee recommended the screening be expanded to test eye-hand coordination, but the effort was killed at the behest of Assemblyman Jim Beall, who has never been known for his superior athletic, ambidextrous and ambulatory qualities.
Although initial testing registered a few abnormalities locally, rather than make any rash decisions on possible suspension of duty, the committee said they would recheck the data and review the results before making any rulings. An inside source leaked that one of those flagged was Councilman Forrest Williams, but the committee decided that since he showed no discernible signs of brain activity he would be allowed to keep serving.
Regarding…. Nora Campos frequently blames her inane votes on “medical events” that seem to cause blackouts. “I don’t remember many council meetings,” she explained, “but I’ve been there for every vote!”
How many times did the former Vice Mayor answer “I don’t recall.” when testifing before the Grand Jury? Hmmm.
Manny Diaz’s SUV,
You seem to still be suffering with brain damage from the accident, or perhaps Manny’s charisma has infected you.
Anyway, according to the Mercury News, and they would never get something wrong, Migden was playing bumper cars in a Toyota Highlander, not a Cadillac.
Dear John:
Great post. I’m not sure your comments are “P.C.” for these parts. It doesn’t seem fair that the citizens of San Jose get only two minutes to speak (and sometimes only one) when Con. Williams can go on for twenty minutes at a time. I wish, just once, the MERC would publish the transcript of one of his incoherent rants.
Your post adds fuel to my fire that the council should be elected on a city wide basis. (Look at the two lightweights slugging it out in District 4) we can, and should, do so much better than all of this. (Not living in the district boundaries would be a clear disadvantage that a candidate would have to overcome. But is it fair to deny someone the right to run for council just because they live two streets away from an open district? Consider: someone can move from Colorado, establish residency for six months, and then legally run…but someone a few blocks down (outside of the district line) who has lived in San Jose for twenty years, cannot). It’s a stale rule.
Pete campbell
Movie Review: Weekend with Carol
Hollywood (FFN)—Director Ted Kotcheff (Weekend at Bernie’s) wastes no time in preparing the audience to expect the extraordinary in his madcap little movie, Weekend with Carol. From the opening scene, showing Carol stressing as she attempts the impossible with her morning make-up, to the harrowing car chase that takes viewers to the final scene, Weekend with Carol is one, long, frightening ride.
In an inspired casting decision, Jim Carrey stars as state senator Carol Migden, a neurotic Northern California liberal battling to impose her hair-brained agenda on the people while keeping them from learning that she suffers from narcolepsy. It is a battle in which there are victims aplenty, much to the horror of the movie’s costar…
you.
Yes, that’s right. Director Kotcheff has made the audience his costar, assigned the role of the unseen cub reporter there to observe, report, and, regrettably, ride along during the weekend as the senator races recklessly around the Bay Area in a last ditch attempt to gain support for what she sees as the crowning jewel of her political career, the establishment of reeducation camps for suspected homophobes.
Take note: as the cub reporter, it should comfort you not one bit when you hear a Migden aide ask, “Whose idea was it to put a reporter in the car with Comatose Carol?”
Playing the role of a women, at least this particular woman, turned out to be a piece of cake for the versatile Carrey, whose character gives new life to the expression, “asleep at the wheel.” For the role, Carrey brought with him the “make-up genius” who helped create his Fire Marshall Bill character on the television series, In Living Color. In fact, one look at an old photo from the show and the character nexus is obvious.
http://www.jimcarreyonline.com/images/displayimage.php?album=269&pos=3
http://www.fogcityjournal.com/images/photos/overheard_061216/mw2w5008_std.jpg
The car chase that leads to the conclusion of “Weekend with Carol” appears to have been inspired by William Friedkin’s groundbreaking chase in “The French Connection,” replete with screaming moms, toppled baby carriages, and sideswiped school buses. Carol’s last ride is one that scares the hell out of everyone—except, of course, the often snoozing, otherwise clueless senator. Without revealing whether you will survive your wild ride with Comatose Carol, suffice it to say that the adventure culminates in an encounter with dike, a plunge, a splash, and, tragically, an orphaned humpback.
Hon Lien demonstrates that she has definitely inherited that “Perot Gene,” sadly there is no cure for the imbalance.
You can decide how much of that gene Lien has inherited by viewing the ENTIRE River Oaks Forum, no commentary, no ads, just the forum:
http://sccdp.org/video/070517forum.wmv
Takes a little over an hour to view the forum, if you live in District 4 it is an hour well spent, for the rest of us it is just painful.
Mr. McEnery,
Thank you for bringing this important issue to the forefront.
My owner, former Assemblymember Manny Diaz, ran me through a red light, ran over a street light, and caused me great bodily harm one evening in 2004.
Luckily, Mr. Diaz is not on the City Council now to receive the recently-jacked-up $600/month car allowance. I would hate to have what happened to me happen to anyone of my SUV brothers or sisters.
I wish Senator Migden’s Cadillac the best.
Manny Diaz’s SUV
Whether she was drunk on booze, drugs or just nacroleptic I am having a difficult time in determining where the accident actually happened.
Initally it was reported as having happened on State Route 12. A later news report put it on I-80 near SR 12. Finally, I heard a third news statement saying that it happened on I-5 near SR 12.
My thought is that, due to her condition, it could have happened at ALL 3 of the above locations.
Just don’t forget her apology to the person who’s vehicle she hit and probably saved her life. ” I’m a Senator.” “I’m a Senator.”
gelvey
There were several incidents along E/B I-80 between SR-37 in Vallejo and SR-12.
The “final” accident occurred on SR-12 at Chadbourne Road in the western part of Fairfield, just outside the Budweiser brewery.
Perhaps she was stopping in for a refill.