Harmony in the South Bay Priority For Bush Administration
The United States and Russia have been working quietly on scheduling a follow-up to the Annapolis Middle East Peace Conference that ended Tuesday with an agenda rumored to include talks on a very complex and vexing problem to the world: Coyote Valley.
“There is no way we can declare a secure, democratic and free world with the specter of unrest in the Coyote Valley,” said President Bush, in an address to the United Nations on Wednesday. “We have evidence that certain ‘interests’ have the scientists and facilities to build nuclear weapons down there and are seeking the materials needed to do so. We must curtail their efforts.”
The violence and instability brought about because of the warring factions between jobs vs. housing in Coyote Valley have prompted the so-called “Quartet” comprised of the United States, the United Nations, Russia and Morgan Hill to focus their attention on the undeveloped expanse of farmland before any accord on social, political, economic and security issues in the Middle East can be solved.
“This region in south San Jose is of the utmost importance to the U.S.,” said Secretary of State, Condoleezza Rice. “Without a truce between Shia, Sunni, the Kurds, Arabs and Kerry Williams there will be no ‘peace in our time,’ or BART to San Jose,” she warned.
In a ceremonial gesture, the City of San Jose has agreed to send Forest Williams to Russia next month to help negotiate a settlement, replete with keys to the city, Shark tickets and a Tickle Me George Shultz doll, with the understanding that none of them need be returned.
John:
I understand that one of the hang ups centers around naming rights. There’s a move to rename the region, “Little Coyote.” Of course, many of us would like to see it called, “Big Coyote,” or “Coyote Valley District.”
Pete Campbell
p.s. I don’t know how you get away with the Forrest Williams stuff! Someday, this blog should print (undedited) one of his rolling, incoherent rants just so the people of San Jose can see what’s going on.
I’ve always suspected that after the U.S. has secured the world’s oil supply, the administration will switch their focus to the SECOND most expensive natural resource in the world: Bay Area land.
Coyote Group Holds Press Conference
Unoccupied Territory, South San Jose (FFN)—In the face of mounting pressure from preservationists and controlled-growth advocates, representatives of the Coyote Housing Group held a press conference yesterday to defend their development plan.
“Our plan is the true roadmap to peace and prosperity,” pledged Arial Bombardment, the group’s new spokesman, as he turned to a large map of “Greater Coyote Valley” to make his point. “We intend to erect a protective wall around the valley, install checkpoints to control the comings and goings of day laborers and other necessary undesirables, and do whatever it takes to protect our residents and entrepreneurs from envious and hostile neighbors.”
Calling Coyote Valley “a land without a people for a people with high credit scores,” Bombardment did admit, when questioned, that it was unfortunate that one of his bulldozers crushed to death a protester who was trying to save a stand of Oak trees.
“Of course we regret it,” he explained, “but we also recognize that hers were the actions of an anti-Coyotic radical.”
For a man said to be in a permanent vegetative state, Bombardment proved to be a surprisingly aggressive spokesman, at one point working himself up into such a fervor that the group’s president, Kerry Williams, had to take over the question and answer period.
“No,” Williams assured the crowd, “Coyote Valley has no plans to obtain a nuclear arsenal. Mr. Bombardment, who you all know has some medical issues, got a little confused there. What he meant to say was that we’ve been promised unconditional financial and military assistance from the United States.”
“Trust me, if a push comes to a shove and we decide its time for a war, our lobbyists will get the U.S. to fight it for us.”
#3
I think it should be called Wile E Coyote Valley since the politicians keep blowing themselves up trying to develop it.
http://foreignerinformosa.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/wile_e_coyote.jpg
The question is: How many billion will they give San Jose to have Coyote Valley abandon it’s unclear program?
Surely someone must know something about rumor that Coyote Valley is in the market for yellowcake; or was that fruitcake.
Is SPINA FARMS at Santa Teresa and Baily just a front for selling cords hi-carbon fuel?
Good comments. By the way, there is a new blog around commenting on Santa Clara issuses, THE MISSION CITY NEWS. You can find it at http://www.missioncitynews.blogspot.com. It has some good points like this one about Cedar Fair, and written by Chris Stampolis.
“First they’re for a Santa Clara stadium, then they are neutral on the stadium, then they are opposed, then neutral again, and most recently opposed. Cedar Fair has more flip-flops than a discount retailer on Waikiki”
Very witty, almost as good as John McEnery!!
Coyote Valley did get the attention of the presidential candidates several weeks ago at a forum at Google, http://www.generationengage.org/videoplayer/videos.html
check out what Hilary and Obama said when students asked questions related to CV and land use.