Mayor Gonzales Calls Laws of Gravity “Nonsense”

Also Suggests Holocaust was Staged

Just days after suggesting that San Jose’s government was “as open as a French whorehouse on Bastille Day” and that “sunshine law” reforms were ridiculous and a waste of time, Mayor Ron Gonzales continued his stroll through some warm and fuzzy fictional world by attacking Sir Isaac Newton and his Universal Laws of Gravitation.

“I have been thinking of Sir Isaac a lot lately and his so-called ‘Laws of Gravity,’” said the mayor.  “What a dip-shit.  He would have made a great San Jose council member.”

Seemingly bitter about finding himself on the unpopular end of a 10-1 vote that authorized a more open and accessible government, Gonzales unleashed a torrent of insults that rocked the very foundation of our unassailable scientific and historical truths.

“I have my doubts about the Holocaust, E equaling MC squared, and the long-term, positive weight-loss effects of a Jenny Craig diet,” he said, “but I’ll be damned if you’ll catch me saddling the city with overwhelmingly popular and effective laws that would prevent a future mayor from running an independent shadow government.”

Because of the mayor’s insensitive and inappropriate remarks about Jenny Craig, the council immediately moved to an article VI, Section 208 of the City Charter which calls for a “double-dog-dare censure” of the mayor, a serious action that would take away his daytime bathroom privileges.

“We are no longer fooling around,” promised Forrest Williams.  “The mayor knows that if he shows up at another meeting that he is not authorized to attend, we will move swiftly to institute a triple-black-dog-dare censure, which is the severest of the severe, save a public stoning or beheading.”

In other news, Gonzales spokesman David Vossbrink expressed the mayor’s delight about SanJoseInside.com’s purchase of the Mercury News saying, “I believe I will finally get a fair shake and be treated objectively and favorably.”

22 Comments

  1. We don’t need no reforms. I don’t have to show you any stinking reforms!

    San Jose City Council

    I am shocked, Ron, just quite simply shocked that San Jose needs reforms

    Carl Guardino

    Reforms, you want more reforms

    Some San Jose City Council members

    I’ll make them an offer they can’t refuse
    ( referring to his public election financing proposal )

    Make way for the bad guy

    It’s not personal, It’s strictly political business

    Mayor Ron Gonzales

  2. Jeez, I thought Chicago politics was bad. At least they were professional crooks. San Jose is filled with amatures. The Mayor “I’m mad as hell and you’re all going to take it as long as I dish it out”.

    The building department; “might be faster if some money greased some palms in the council. But only if you’re on the list”.

    The police union “we got ours, you didn’t get yours. Get over it”.

    The firefighters union “you got yours and we’re pissed. Beside you reneged on a promise”.

    And then we get to Sunshine Laws? I am much in favor of these and the sooner the better. It has been raining far to long this year.

    But to get on point… I would favor public financing for elections with a low limit and the proviso that ALL private funding be illegal. No war chests, no political action committees, nothing-nada. Here’s your 10K spend it on your election any way you want to and don’t come back for more. Dream on folks, dream on…

  3. Confronted with a book documenting the who, what, and where of his steroid use, Barry Bonds threatens to sue, not for libel, but for the authors’ use of leaked information.

    Confronted with a call for widespread reform because of how he did business while in office, Mayor Gonzales makes his own call for change, not of how city business is done, but of how elections are funded.

    The salmon season may be on hold, but the Red Herring run is off to a great start.

  4. I’m convinced by John’s logic: Hiz Ronner is nuts, losing whatever IT he ever had. But in the midst of the idiocy, absolutely dead on to have elections financed entirely by the public. How cheap that would be. The crazy ones are those worried about the cost. The differnece in elections would be unrecognizable. The candidates would actually have to say something. George Green, downtown property owner.

  5. Without much objection, I pay my taxes knowing some of the cash funds programs or projects I don’t support.  The trade-off is that voting for candidates for office gives me a (theoretical) say in who makes the decisions.

    Now Ron proposes using my money to support candidates even when I know up front they will make spending and policy decisions I disagree with.

    Here’s what will be the most naive suggestion of the day:  Limit campaign spending to business cards.  No bumper stickers, yard signs, direct mail, television, radio—not by the candidate or “friends” or unions or a business PAC or your brother-in-law or the caucus in Sacramento that sees you as an Assembly candidate when you term out of the council. You can have a website—but you can e-mail only individuals who sign up for your messages.  Earn votes the old-fashioned way—get out there and meet the people.  Make precinct walking something other than a photo op.

    We snicker when someone says, “You can’t buy that politician—s/he can only be leased.”

    And that’s more sad than funny.

  6. Gonzalez, having been politically damaged beyond repair, can now speak the “truth”.

    The truth hurts, it is offensive to many and goes against the mythical beliefs of those outside of politics. 

    His attacks on the Mercury News and his decrying of new “ethics” laws to fix the problem are a result of a liberation of having to be politically correct.  He no longer has to worry about how he will be viewed by the public and while many disagree with his candor, it is refreshing.

    Politics has become a game in which you try to put your political opponents in jail.  We don’t talk about real issues (See Pandori Blog).

    The collective, “we” , may not agree with what he says, but it his honest assessment of the political culture of the day.  It is less about justifying his own actions, as it is a warning to anyone who follows.

    It is tough to do business for the public, in public.  Trasparency is great in theory, but a pain in the ass in practice.  It is inefficient and slows the ability of government to provide solutions.

    You may not like to hear that, but then again, the truth is sometimes hard to take. 

    While some may see it as sour grapes or the ravings of a fallen politician, it bears listening to for the simple reason he has been in the game for a long time and has nothing to gain and nothing to lose.

    For some reason, in politics that makes you more credible.

  7. After this week’s VTA one-finger salute from HizzRonner what are the chances the Council is going to approve anything this Mayor proposes?

    Try this scenario:
    1. Gonzo proposes it.
    2. The Council says “Gee that’s interesting Ron. Let’s study it to death until your lame duck ass is good and gone.”
    3. The issue quietly dies unless somebody mobilizes hundreds of middle class San Joseans to stand around strip malls with petitions. Anyone care to lay odds on that? 

    The only thing Mayor Irrelevant is going to get out of this week’s antics is another smackdown from the council. By the time they are done he won’t be able to join the Diner’s Club.

  8. Dale’s accuracy batting record is about 50% right / wrong ( F grade ) on his facts and public statements but he does come up with some really good things

    Dale – Keep up the good work but it would be better for everyone if you did more fact checking and less ranting / personal attacks on your 2 long time favorite personal targets – Chuck and Rick

  9. Once again Rich tries to make a diamond out of a lump of coal. How you can give an ounce of credibility to the ravings of Ron is beyond me. You are correct that doing public business in public is inefficient and slows the ability of government to provide solutions—isn’t that too bad. It is called democracy! Until Ron and Cindy and Joe can change our form of government they will just have to live with it—maybe they will even try working within it.
    Pandori’s blog does talk about real issues and allows everyone on this board to respond to them. Chuck and Dave have also done that—where is Cindy?
    Thanks for the levity though, good way to ease into the weekend.

  10. Dear San Jose:

    I’ve submitted an outline to Fox TV for a new reality show.  It’s about a dysfunctional, hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil city council led by a mayor who rants at the town’s newspaper for reporting the truth about him.  In one episode, the mayor crashes a meeting that he was forbidden to attend.  I’m thinking of calling the show, “SAN JOSE.”  (It will make you laugh…it will make you cry).

    Check your local listings this Fall!

    Pete Campbell

  11. Has Cindy and Michael the other major Mayor candidates been asked to author a Blog by Tom as he has for other 3 Mayor candidates?

    It is only fair to let them have an opportunity to voice their opinions , answer questions and hear comments from the community

    What about a few of the other 5 Mayor candidates or contested City Council races have the y been asked?

    What is San Jose Inside’s policy on who can be Blog authors and do they have to be approved for political correctness or Blog content by Tom?

    Does SJI have a Blog author censorship policy?

  12. My personal opinion of Ronny’s sanity has come into question with his past few antics.  His interview last Friday and his attendence and chairing of a BART meeting this week.  The Council needs to come down hard and tell him he is no longer to attend meetings away from the council representing the City of San Jose.  Wow can’t June and November hurry up and get here?
    Just a reminder to everyone.  The Clampers are having a “plaquing” (installing a bronze plaque) at the Alviso Marina tomorrow to note Alviso’s colorful history.  Should be a fun occasion.  I’ll be there and I’m not even a Clamper.  I’m too old!

  13. SAN JOSE MERCURY NEWS 3/23/06

    Local section

    Chavez leads in mayoral spending
    She has raised $429,686
    She will probably reach the max of $708,643

    My question is-
    The Central Labor Council has raised over $230,000 it’s obvious who it’s going to.
    Wouldn’t that make her over the limit?

    Front page

    Mayor makes unexpected appearance

    San Jose Vice Mayor Cindy Chavez, who is chair of the VTA board of directors and a member of the Bart policy board.
    Sat next to Ron Gonzales while he chaired the meeting, as he voted along with the others to save $105 million to consolidate two stations into one!
    Looks BAD, Smells BAD, Was BAD!

    My question is-
    Are they Siamese twins jointed at the hips?

    Two questions, does some one have the answers for me?
    Oh, that makes three…

    Still waiting for my answers from yesterday…..

    GM

  14. You want reform, I will show you reform

    Ron did a great political counter move by propose public funding of Mayor and Council elections which throws more reform gasoline on the elections of his Council members and the city’s friendly lobbyists

    Ron is very angry and hopefully not through proposing reforms in twist on Richard Nixon’s – I am not a crook – with his – I am not unethical comments to KGO lets hope he continues proposing reforms

  15. Mayor proposes public financing of elections which would – cost San Jose about $2 million to $3 million a year – cheaper than another Grand Prix give away of our taxes

    http://www.mercurynews.com/mld/mercurynews/news/breaking_news/14176224.htm

    So who supports it?  Dave Cortese, Nancy Pyle, Michael Mulcahy

    and who opposes it and gives fake – public good reasons

    Carl Guardino, president and CEO of the Silicon Valley Leadership Group, which represents 202 valley employers, said he could not speak for the group. But he said he was personally concerned about adding costs to a city already facing a $35.9 million budget deficit. 

    Yea right Carl – you are not worried your election contribution influence over San Jose politics would decline

    and reform political games continue

  16. I read in the SJ Biz Journal that the lame duck mayor also supports public financing of City elections. This way he gets to keep more of the developer contributions he would be spending on campaigning. Anyone but Cindy…Please!

  17. GM, In answer to your questions…

    First the Labor Council can raise as much as they want and spend it on her campaign as independent expenditures, as long as there is no coordination between her campaign and the Labor Council (wink, wink). Second the Labor Council can hire and pay people to volunteer on her campaign with no regard to contribution/spending limits. This is the reform that Chuck Reed tried in vain to implement recently, which, not surprisingly, Cindy voted against.

    These two ‘loopholes’ are what allows the Central Labor Council to control who gets elected, then what they do after they get elected. Non-Labor candidates don’t have a chance. If for no other reason, this is why everyone should open their checkbooks and write a small check to each non-labor candidate.

    As far as Cindy standing idle and letting Ron push his weight around at the VTA committee meeting, this should be a clear demonstration of her inability to lead. She is a follower. Always has been, always will be. All she has done is follow the Labor agenda.

    And remember, those who forget history are bound to repeat it. Cindy came from within the labor group and has been a puppet ever since. In the District 1 race you will see the same from James Jay – but I don’t think he has the intelligence that Cindy has. And that could mek for a deadly labor weapon.

  18. GM

    Any independent group to include Labor, Chamber, Silicon Valley Leadership Group, or any community organization that is not restricted by law can legally do what labor is doing

    The difference is most other groups especially Chamber, large and small business groups are not as well organized and do not put in the campaign effort and hard work to elect their candidates  

    If you or your group does not like what is going on in San Jose stop being whiners, complainers, poor losers and naysayers make the effort to get organized and become election winners

    Raising campaign funds in San Jose is not the issue since there are more than enough people who can write the checks but what do you owe them

    The 3 real ocal campaign questions are

    1) What do the people includes wealthy candidates who write the campaign checks expect the candidate to do for them ( pay to play ) and is it in the public interest and properly disclosed?

    2) Why are San Jose business groups incapable of electing any council member or are they getting all they want from writing checks to the labor candidates which they do if you look at the disclosure forms?

    3) Why are San Jose’s small business groups not organized and totally absent from local politics and does this harm San Jose?

  19. Re: The above comment #19. You are attributing a trait in Ms. Chavez that all of the people should look at. She IS NOT A LEADER.

    Sorry about shouting but I would like everyone to know about her.

    It’s late… Good night

  20. Thank you,

    For all your insights and answers,
    By the way I’m not complaining just concerned about the ethics of the candidates running a clean campaign, that’s it.

    Thanks again,

    GM

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