An unnamed source from City Hall leaked the news of what would appear to be a controversial new program that Mayor Gonzales intends to unveil in his State of the City speech in early February.
The No Lobbyist Left Behind Act would seem to fly in the face of the current call for ethics reform and the curtailing of veiled access by special interest groups.
In an attempt to pre-empt this morning’s reports, Gonzales was abnormally accessible to and effusive with the press and offered the following, “Please do not judge this program until you hear all of the details. We have many decent, hardworking lobbyists in our city, but too many of them just don’t seem to be thriving. Not all of them have had the opportunity to work at City Hall and forge the close relationships needed to open doors. We must level the playing field.”
The Act would include workshops designed by Working Partnerships USA, the terrorist arm of the Labor Council, that would include the following topics:
-Ways to gain access cheaper and faster by running and electing a “pet” council representative.
-Gain more freedom and leverage for your clients, especially if they happen to be a national retail chain or out-of-town developer.
-How to take all of your salary in “success based” fees.
-What “cronyism” means and why you should know.
-How to get Labor on your side in order to push charter amendments and zoning changes through the system without public hearings and/or council approval.
Gonzales trumpeted, “This will be my legacy to the people of San Jose.”
When pressed, Gonzales concluded curtly, “Remember, lobbyists are people too, and most of them make great golf partners. It is our moral obligation to make sure that none of them are left behind.”
John,
Great article! Can’t wait to talk to Ron about it today. We have a tee time at Cordevalle, then it is off to Santana Row for lunch.
Very Funny. Very Believable. Very Sad.
What’s Next? The No Lousy City Manager Left Behind Act? The No Dumb Budget Director Left Behind Act? UGGGGGHHHHH!!!!
Is that you Tony Arreola? Feeding at the public trough comes with a price. Karma is a bitch.
Great article, you should be writng for Saturday night Live. Mabe Ron is going on the Senior tour when he is ousted from office. How can he play golf, it’s a game that is self regulated and we see how well that works at city hall.
John:
Your Dad, George Starbird, Vic C. and all of the other old members (me too) of the old ABC Club are spinning! Allowing the Labor Council and PAID idiots to lobby ournon-partisan elected reps when the citizens who elect haven’t got a chance in h*** of getting any kind of a response from any elected official, let alone those who represent their district.
Jerry
Is the III or the IV writing this? Patrick and I thought the IV, but Rosenthal indicates the III.
There have been other clues too—-golf.
Hey Y’all…
Did you see Maureen Dowd’s column yesterday – sound familiar?
http://www.nytimes.com/2005/01/13/opinion/13dowd.html?oref=login&n=Top/Opinion/Editorials and Op-Ed/Op-Ed/Columnists/Maureen Dowd
Why not send Gonzales to our fair city. We cannot seem to decide who will be mayor and he might just as well get into the mix.
Very “onion-esque”…
You forgot to link the sign-up forms for the workshops and tee-times…
What’s this? Mac IV turning over a new leaf? The boys did the “Peace and Prosperity” thing the early nineties.
That campaign was greeted by the SJ voting population with the same zeal as a license renewal letter from the DMV. Sad as it sounds.
Now, Mac IV wants to visit the Jerry Springer play book and get a little ruff.
Blandbung-
What are you talking about?
Why has the DA failed to follow up on the golfing matters detailed in Metro?
The Greening of Mayor Golfzales
Is that Tommy Fallon guy on the Mayor’s payroll? Or, is he/her just a random, pissed off citizen? I know he’s got a police record here since the eighties.
How is the Performing Arts complex at the fair grounds going? Seems like a great idea. Oh, how i long for the good old days when Governor Ron improved the SJS campus by establishing half way houses in the area. John, do you really think you can make a weekly dead line ?
Not bad bobby z didn’t think you san jose state guys could read. We always thought you were living in one of those half way houses or as you guys called them fraternities.