Urge Richest Nations to Reject Debt Forgiveness Policy
After a successful pitch to Major League Baseball at Spring Training in Arizona three months ago,
Mayor Ron Gonzales and County Assessor Larry Stone have traveled to Scotland in order to bring their unpopular message of “keeping debt in place to pay for a BART extension” to the leaders of the world’s richest nations.
But their lobbying efforts seemed doomed from the start as riot police detained Mr. Stone as he stormed the Gleneagles Hotel where the leaders were arriving. Caught on BBC news footage being dragged to the ground, his homemade signs, stating “Fuhnd the BART extension,” were torn to shreds by several police dogs before his message was seen.
Also caught up in the melee was an exasperated and disheveled Mayor Gonzales, who was trying to make a case for their trip from a makeshift holding pen after being manacled by mounted Scottish police. “It doesn’t make any sense to relieve approximately $40 billion in debt overseas when we can’t finance a BART extension at home,” said Gonzales. “Besides, if our world leaders were honest with themselves, I believe that they would agree that the most effective way to help the African continent is to assist Sally Struthers.”
In a related story, the mayor said he will not sign an agreement, endorsed by every parent in San Jose, that has as its goals “sharing with friends, cleaning up after yourself, and being as honest as possible.” Spokesman David Vossbrink offered, “Although the Mayor thinks it is laudable, the last goal is just too vague.”
Does he know the meaning of the word honest. I bet his partners on the golf course count all his strokes for him. It is a joke that isn’t funny about this BART extension. Gonzo has promised so many things in his speeches and really hasn’t delivered on anything. Why don’t they just finish something that is doable like the River Walk.
Poor Mr. Stone found out that the UK isn’t as tolerant as was Major League Baseball. He was no doubt brought down by one of the canines provided to the King’s English coppers by a specialty breeder in Prague. The more illiterate members of the local protest community are quite familiar with the dogs, and someone should have warned the visiting assessor to avoid crossing paths with the much-dreaded Czech Speller.
What would Gonzo have if it weren’t for vague goals?
John, that Sally Struthers reference was a real gem!
But hey, Scotland is the birthplace of golf isn’t it? I think that alone provides the real motive for Ron & Larry’s excellent adventure.
How come Mayors never go bowling?
It seems to me you can get into as much trouble in a Bowling Alley as a golf course, and it costs a hell of a lot less.
John McHenry,
I am in the 6th grade at Sherman Oaks school and really want you to know that I like reading your website. I am spending the first part of the summer with my step-mom’s dad in Iowa-boring-and I log on to this site so that I can see what’s new back home. I really like the blogs from Mark T. I showed my step-mom’s dad some of his blogs and he thinks that Mark T. sounds like a dead-ender. I also like Fin-Fan. I think it would be FunFun to meet him. Anyway I just wanted to write. I wish you would let people know which of your stories are real and the fake ones too.
Vince B. Room 2
That is hysterical! Those two need to be dragged down by dogs and realize they aren’t accomplishing anything. They are consistently biting off more than they can chew (no pun intended)
On the upside, Scotland has some of the best golf courses in the world.
I agree with Mark T on the Sally Struthers remark…classic! Well apparently for the mayor, honesty is not the best policy…time for him to go, go, go.
Hi Vince,
I am not from Iowa. What do the people in that country mean when they say “dead-ender?” Is that what they called all the people who voted for Howard Dean instead of Kerry in last year’s caucuses there? If so, they all need to look in the mirror when they say that.