First Step in Saint-Making Process Appropriate Says Benedict
Just hours after all criminal charges were dropped against lobbyist duo Tony Arreola and Sean Kali-Rai for bribery, conspiracy, perjury, grand theft, fraud, tax evasion, kickbacks and shoplifting, the two were seen boarding a Papal Air 777 for a quick flight to the Vatican after a surprise invitation from Pope Benedict XVI.
Papal spokesman Father Federico Lombardi said that the Pope immediately took to the plight of the wrongly accused men and was happy to see them exonerated, if not exorcised of all evil doings.
“The suffering has ended and they will now be recognized for their heroic virtues through the official process of beatification,” he said. “It is the feel good story of the year.”
When word reached the Bay Area lobbyist community, thousands rallied in City Hall Plaza armed with illegal reprints of Mercury News columnist Scott Herhold’s recent article and handmade signs stating “Santo Subito!” (“sainthood now”), in veneration of their two heroes.
Although there are long and detailed regulations for bestowing sainthood, the process for beatification will be placed on a “fast track,” according to the spokesfather. This has only been done before for Mother Teresa and Pope John Paul II and will be the first time it has ever been done with living subjects.
The beatification process must originate in the place where the candidate worked or died; in this case it will take place in ex-Mayor Ron Gonzales’s old office.
In related news, incarcerated former über-lobbyist Jack Abramoff said from his minimum security facility at Cumberland, Maryland, that he was ecstatic upon hearing the news and it was just the precedent he needed to overturn his wrongful conviction.
Technical question: Are Tony and Sean Catholic?
Given the Vatican’s recent confirmation that we mere Protestants are not on a true path to salvation because we are not Catholic, that could be an eensy-weensy stumbling block.
Can OJ be far behind?
Can we get some lobbyists to work on getting the new Sharks logo canned?
Can someone enlighten me as to where Dolores Carr is coming from?
The Sharks have a new logo?
It is hoped Sean Kali-Rai and Tony Arreola will campaign and win city council seats during the next election cycle. As city council members they could help create a law that clearly defines acceptable behavior for lobbyists. In the future, lobbyists would not have to endure the shabby treatment these two gentlemen were subjected to because of a poorly written law. Even some good came from the O.J. Simpson trial – awareness about domestic violence. Although O.J. was clearly innocent, contrary to what John Michael O’Connor infers, he was treated very badly by the media. O.J. would be the first to say it was worth the personal attacks to raise awareness about domestic violence. The treatment O.J. received was deplorable, devastating, demoralizing, deceitful, denigrating, disparaging, disrespectful, derogatory, disgraceful, divisive, devious and disgusting.
John,
A bit picky but, your Italian is a bit off. It’s “SANTO Subito”, unless your thinking about Christmas at this point.
Kris Kringle (the real SANTA)…
Yo!#6—Messrs. multiple personality disorder: OJ was clearly innocent??? What planet you from, Bubbas?
Is tomorrow your “e” day?
Are San Jose’s ethics, campaign, lobbyist, conflict of interest and disclosure laws poorly written because of incompetence or on purpose?
Why do many laws have no penalties, only low civil penalties or only require Council to redo predetermined vote?
San Jose has very low risk of prosecution, low or no penalties and large profits from unethical or unacceptable behavior since most are not criminally illegal or poorly written laws are unenforceable
We will frequently have more scandals, ethic violations, lobbyist and special interest influence on city public decisions UNTIL San Jose has criminal and civil penalties are large enough to deter unethical or unacceptable behavior
#8, John Michael O’Connor demanding a response, cute. Well here goes, yes tomorrow will be our “e” day and here is a little bit of a preview. It will be excellent, encouraging, expansive, effervescent, encompassing, enchanting, exciting, exhilirating, exhausting, enhancing, elevating, ecstatic and expressive.
Kris-
Ouch. And to think I’m half Italian…hopefully my relatives did not see that typo…Thanks for the catch. It’s fixed. Next week I will attempt an entire article in Italian.