Untapped Pool of Buyers-Using-Offensive-Language Targeted
The San Jose Convention and Visitors Bureau, under the direction of city officials, has launched an awareness campaign in expectation of a whole new wave of cussers flooding the downtown housing market in search of a more tolerant and obscenity-laced community.
Almost overnight, downtown high-rise condominiums have filled up with refugees from South Pasadena, a previously conservative but tolerant town, where it is now illegal to hurl expletives out of necessity or just plain sport.
“It’s total f$*#ing bullshit,” said one displaced resident. “Thank God for the f#@*ers in San Jose!”
Real estate developers couldn’t be happier about the turn of events. In fact, there is quite the mutual admiration society. “We are pleased with the new ordinance in South Pasadena,” said a spokesman for Three-Sixty Residences, a luxury high-rise condominium project in downtown, “This could be the emerging market we need to shore up the economy.”
Con-Vis president Dan Fenton said the city wanted to stay out in front of the controversy by letting current residents, tourists and families know that downtown will still be a welcome place.
“However bad the perception, we believe this is a positive phenomenon,” he said. “It is an old industry adage that ‘retail always follows the obscene.’”
I told the City Council and the Mayor they would fit right in because their decisions are obscene.
And all eleven of them stood up and said “We’re not obscene.”
And I said “The f*@k you ain’t”.
Glad to see that John made the cut. Given the new merger, I was afraid that his Friday column would be replaced by the thoughts and reflections of one of the gals offering “massages” in the back of every edition of the METRO!
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William F Buckley died a few weeks ago, here are a couple of comments that surfaced in the many obits:
“When a particularly opinionated left-winger in the U.S. declined an invitation to appear on Firing Line, Buckley commented: ‘Well, one can hardly expect baloney to come willingly to the slicer.’”
And:
“When asked what job he wanted in the administration of his friend President Reagan, he said, ‘Ventriloquist.’”
R.I.P.
Pete Campbell
Oh sh*t, I thought The 88 was going to be an obscene-free zone. Now I guess it will be the verbal equivalent of the drug-free zone called St. James Park.
On the brighter side, they can hang out their windows there and at Axis and shout obscenities at our weekend crew of downtown thugs.
Fudge. Just when you thought it was safe to go downtown, here comes an emigrant wave of who-shot-John. Those of us who have been paying heavily into the swear jar will find it hard to stay committed to “sugar,” “crumb” and “poop.”
There once was a young fellow named Fred
Who was profane in whatever he said
But in his Three-Sixty nest
The neighbors patience he’d test
Only between the planes overhead
#5
Good one finfan.
#4- BarbieZelbub, that was pretty good! I had forgotten about the old swear jar! May be we should suggest that as a way of getting revenue for the city!
NOT A PARODY…
What is funny is that two of the new up-scale downtown developments have names that have other meanings that aren’t terribly funny. The planning department, the mayor, and the council members should have noticed and blown the whistle.
But, as on a blog where “knuckleheads” and “whackos” are acceptable name-calling in lieu of facts, it may be that vocabularies have shrunk as our parochial bubble tightens around us.