Without Any Accomplishments, The Supes Are Left With No Choice In Effort To Win Back Interest
In what is being regarded as an unprecedented marketing move, the County Supervisors have voted with their pom-poms and decided to “put the romance back into county politics” by announcing several unique giveaways, gimmicks and special events in a desperate attempt to interest anyone in what they are doing.
“We really have no other choice,” explained Supervisor Don Gage. “We have lost our fan base after years of whining, litigation attempts, nattering, and just too many boring sessions. We MUST find a way to infuse the ‘fun factor’ back into our politics.”
With the goal of filling the supervisor chambers in the county building during their official meetings, free popcorn, Jujubes, Dots, Bon Bons and soft drinks will be offered to those attending. After the meetings, the traditional flesh pressing, lobbying and ass kissing that goes on will be replaced with unique giveaways: the VERY gavel used during the meeting will end up in a lucky audience member’s hand; all those that speak publicly will be invited to Pete McHugh’s Friday BBQ cookoff; and several “keys to the county” will be flung to supportive audience members.
With the new upbeat, if not school-girl giddy attitude and carnival-like giveaways, Supervisor Jim Beall believes citizens will flock to the chambers. But if the monotony of consent items or the blathering of department heads covering their asses while trying to buck-pass any responsibility for anything isn’t enough, “Most of us will be signing agenda sheets, city hats, and old high school sports paraphernalia,” offered Beall. “Although don’t get your hopes up of seeing any of my Bellarmine jerseys - they are framed and securely fastened to the wall in my bedroom.”
What about game-used starched shirts and blazers? I am sure they will be just about as sweaty as the game used items the Sharks give away!
Giving away “chokable” candy is a very bad idea when the majority of the audience will probably fall asleep during a supervisors session…..
Perhaps we hapless citizens could give a little back by starting a fund to give Jim Beall a charisma implant. Or would that run afoulf of campaign laws?
Go Bells!
JM, the sad truth is that Beall is going to zero in on another unopposed race and end up in Sacramento. Can’t anybody step in and put an end to this guy’s ride on the political gravy train?
John, are you sure you meant to type “nattering” and not “neutering” ???
Wait a minute! This is unfair. The Supes have done a lot:
They came to the astounding conclusion, after months of study, that Santa Clara County actually needs it’s third trauma center.
Then there were those budget hearings…followed by the other budget hearings, which begat more budget hearings…
There’s the plan to land BIG LOUD JETS at the tiny little airstrip at San Martin. (Some good thinking there! Was somebody drinking perchlorate well water?)
And let’s not overlook the pissing war with San Jose over who will build an entertainment venue that will, no doubt, lose money.
So, contrary to what John would have us believe, 70 W. Hedding is a beehive of activity these days. Stop by if you need a good laugh.
If the County Supervisors want to grab some attention, why don’t they just disclose how much taxpayer money is spent annually caring for illegal aliens? If the big dollars blown housing illegals in the county jail doesn’t get the taxpayers’ attention, then just release details of Blanca Alvarado’s orders to the jailers restricting the alerting of immigration authorities to even repeat offenders. That might raise a collective eyebrow. How much are you willing to spend to keep in your county—and keep arresting and prosecuting and incarcerating—a large population of undocumented criminals? Just one more of Blanca’s protected classes.
Take a look at what once was the County Hospital. As the area grew-up it became Valley Medical Center, a top-notch trauma center of a size appropriate for the legal population. Today it looks like a soviet facility on steroids—its body and appendages enlarged to unbelievable proportions. I believe it is now called the Health Mall of Mexico Adjacent. Oh, and by the way, “No Habla Englais” in the waiting room.
Watch the supes in action? No thanks, John. If I have to watch a bunch of socialistas packin’ the public piñata, I’ll do it in Cuba where I can enjoy a cigar and blow some smoke of my own.
#3 John Michael O’Connor-
Nice idea, but we already lost a citycouncilman because of gift ordinance violations and I’m sure an injection of charisma is quite expensive and may exceed what is allowable by law – besides it could be considered a performance enhancing drug and he may be suspended, or dragged into congressional hearings – either way it is too great a risk to lose his representation for an extended period of time.
What does George Kennedy, Karen Sinnunu, Chuck Reed, the Deputy Sheriffs Association, and Pete McHugh, all have in common?
Victor Ajluny, the only Nebraska business man that has the SC County connection. Maybe he could right a newspaper about it all, or hand out free uniforms.
#7 Finfan
Bring back a few Montecristo #2’s for me…
you are so right!! lets talk about strikes….northwest for example….they suck!!!
go REDWINGS
#9:
Go back to caffeinated coffee, Jim; or back to fourth grade english, where we learn to match the number of the verb with the number of the subject subject, and the difference between “right” and “write”.
Oh no! I’m suffering from satire withdrawal. I came to work and no column from J-Mac IV.