A Rare Unanimous Vote Sends Tough Message
In a first for the city, San Jose Council members approved an extra $34,000 for the Mayor’s Annual speech to spend on over-the-counter stimulants known as No-Doze. It will be distributed to audience members attending the Mayor’s State of the City Speech next Wednesday at the California Theater in the hopes of keeping everyone awake.
No-Doze literature states that “…one may become drowsy, listless, and close to sleep during torturously boring activities such as long drives at night, operating heavy machinery, or sitting through an entire political speech…one can imagine the dangers of nodding off during any one of these activities…”
Although the Mayor has promised to keep the speech short and exciting, many skeptics have pointed to the length and content of previous year’s speeches, citing the many injuries that occurred when audience members fell asleep and tumbled to the floor.
“Once an audience member hits REM sleep, they are in what we doctors call a ‘danger zone.’ A sudden jerk of the nerves can cause an acute body to hurl several feet forward, potentially causing massive brain trauma upon impact,” explained sleep scientist Dr. Kenneth Rodgers.
In a unanimous vote, the council sent the strong message that the drug expense was a small price to pay to protect its citizenry. “This vote was a no-brainer. Public safety must be our first concern,” said Councilmember Judy Chirco.
The 7-0 tally reflected several unaware council members who nodded off during the vote. All were treated for minor injuries and released.
Tom,
I think you correctly report the vote and the reason for it. Droll fiction and dull rhetoric usually have that effect on people.
The city tried to save money by “sole sourcing” the No Doz contract with a Canadian Firm.
However, that is in clear violation of San Jose ethics laws. Mercury News Editorial Investigators have been dispatched to find out who negotiated the contract behind closed doors.
Many believe it was Joe Guerra who denies the charge stating; “I wasn’t even aware there was a speech.”
A hearing is set for next week, where the San Jose Ethics Committee members have assured the public they will be buying their own No Doz, over-the-counter, at no expense to the taxpayer.
$34,000 to keep the audience awake during the Mayor’s speech? Let’s cancel the speech and save the money.
I think it would be dumb to spend the money on No-Doze! It is obviously a waste of money! The would be better spent on Green Fees and cases of wine!
I might be more appropriate for this situation. Instead of keeping them awake let me but them out of their misery.
Tom,
After reading your blog-I felt compelled to reply. I am a young professional who lives here in San Jose and am constantly arguing with my friends as to why SJ is not, as they say “a cultural cesspool”. They argue that what passes for “enlightened” conversation here revolves around real estate and stock option values. A city where the best dining experience is supplied by local Michoacan street vendors and a town known to affluent Peninsula kids as the place to go to buy Oxicontin.
I do my best to defend San Jose but face a losing battle. Then news of the $34,000 No-Doze allocation hits me like a ton of bricks. PLEASE let me know how a concerned citizen can fight this injustice. I am ready to paint a sign and walk outside the Mayor’s office. Let me know.