City Auditor’s Office Avoids “Worst Commutes” List

Bay Bridge, Hwy. 101, Leaves of Absence Keep Tiny Office Out of Top Ten

Employees of the tiny San Jose City Auditor’s office were told on Tuesday by the Metropolitan Transportation Commission (MTC) that their daily trip to the sexually-charged workplace known as the “Auditor’s Den” was not among the top ten dreaded commutes.

The chronically congested Bay Bridge and Highway 101 were perched among the top of the annual survey of worst commutes in the Bay Area, much to the disappointment of city employees that had been lobbying to get their “march to the bathhouse” more notoriety.

“I’d rather be stuck in a car at 5:30 p.m. on Highway 87 south without air conditioning,” confessed one employee, “than in the auditor’s office, naked with an Abu Ghraib hood over my head.”

John Goodwin, of the MTC, apologized to the groups that worked so hard for inclusion on his committee’s list, but explained that since half of the auditor’s office employees were on paid leave, the “dread” of going to work subsided substantially, knocking the city office out of the top ten to number eleven.

“It’s not intimidating anymore,” he explained, “and surely not as dreaded as the boredom that awaits employees going to work for Councilman Forrest Williams (no. 5), or Assemblyman Jim Beall (no. 8).

30 Comments

  1. If we could go back in time seven months, Cindy Chavez would win the election with 90% of the vote.  Only the criminals in Berryessa would have voted for Chuck Reed.  Cindy Chavez would have given Gerald Silva a round-house kick to the head for his deplorable behavior. 

    We made the wrong choice.

  2. Speaking of criminal behavior, the police department should lock up all bicyclists who ride on the sidewalk.  I am sick and tired of being scared to death by a bunch of rude commuters.

  3. 1 – Chavez (as well as other Councilmembers) was well aware of what was going on in the auditor’s office. What did she do about it during her 8 years on the Council? If your answer was nothing, it would be the first correct thing you’ve said so far.

  4. #1 and if Pandori had stayed out of the race Dave Cortese would be Mayor today. And if we knew a couple of years back what we know today Bush and Cheney would be out on their asses and possibly behind bars where they belong. What’s your point. Get on with it and stop complaining.

  5. Top Ten Strategies for Taking Sex out of the Auditor’s Office

    10.  Remove velour wallpaper and mood lighting

    9.    End Casual-Sex Fridays

    8.  Replace wall posters of Christina Aguilera with those of Police Auditor Barbara Attard

    7.  Change phone system on-hold music from Marvin Gaye’s “Let’s get it on” to something more professional

    6.  Make Grand Central Sauna and Hot Tub off-limits for career counseling sessions    

    5.  Prohibit use of cat o’ nine tails and mouth gags when disciplining subordinates

    4.  Remove the stirrups from the couch in the Auditor’s personal office
           
    3.  Prohibit the display of latex novelties or any vibrating device on employee desktops

    2.  Permanent ban on bare-bottom copy machine rides

    and the top strategy for taking sex out of the auditor’s office is:

    Prohibit employees from addressing Mr. Silva, or his referring to himself, as “Jerry Wad”

  6. I would like to see the government imprison people who earn less than 350,000 dollars per year.  People earning less than this amount are an undesirable element of our society.

  7. Speaking of auditor’s, I attended the Independent Police Auditor (IPA) special Council Meeting last night. It was pretty bad. The angry crowd shouted through out the meeting, one guy was escorted out by security, and more than 50 people yelled and screamed about how bad the Police were. It was pretty unsettling. One guy really frightened me. He walked up with sunglasses on, with a big green bag hanging from his side, didn’t say a word, just turned on a tape recorder with a 911 call on it. It was hard to hear exactly what was recorded.
    I saw members of groups moving from one group to another getting people in the audience angrier and angrier. They were being encouraged to speak out, get angry, and be heard. At one point I even saw the IPA walking around passing out speaker cards.
    I’ve attended about 10 public forums on the Police put together by various groups, and I’ve noticed the Independent Police Auditor’s staff really trying to escalate people’s fear and anger toward the Police over small issues, and watched them push hard to get people to file complaints. I didn’t know they were allowed to lobby the public like that. I thought they were supposed to take complaints but not pressure people into it! Their stats are skewed because the same people and groups attend these meetings, and no sign up sheet is ever done at these forums. So numbers of people’s attendance, and who came is double, triple, and quadrupled when a report is given to the Council.
    Call me naïve but, I could swear the Council had been lobbied behind closed doors, made a decision long before last night, and that the angry fearful crowd should have just stayed home. I got the feeling that instead of bothering to sit there 3 hours, to speak for 1 minute, they might as well stayed home and watched it on TV, for all the good their speeches where to the Council.  It seemed to me that everything they said feel on deaf ears, and if the IPA didn’t have some kind of pull in the community, no such report, or meeting would have even been held.

    It seems sad to me that the men and women of the Police department, who put their lives on the line for us every single day, are being held to such bogus high standards of behavior and ethics, when our own leaders could care less what the tax paying voting segment of our society has to say.  I guess I’m sitting here wondering exactly who really needs lessons in professionalism, who needs to stop abusing their power, and who really needs training in proper procedure, open and honest communication with the public.  I surely don’t think it’s just a few bad cops, I’ll tell you that!

  8. Reginald in San Jose

    Bicyclists can legally ride on sidewalks in San Jose in both directions but must yield the right-of-way to all pedestrians approaching on sidewalk or sidewalk areas  

    It can be unsafe if sidewalk is crowded or bikes go too fast or do not yield as we often see

    It is not illegal or criminal behavior as you incorrectly state

  9. NEWS FLASH …

    John Goodwin has uncovered thousands of
    photos dated in the past year which clearly
    show a massive march to the bathhouse,
    or should we say the sweatshop. This undeniable evidence leapfrogs the City Auditor’s Office into a tie for third with Highway 101. A new publication of “the list”
    will be shown in tomorrows Mercury … Oh,
    maybe not tomorrow, in a few days.
    Congrats San Jose Auditor’s Office !!!

  10. Kathleen or dave or office dave whatever your name is:

    Don’t worry you’ll still be able to carry the bullet in your top shirt pocket.  such a dangerous job to push people of color around.  Very unsafe.

    Your police do much more to make people fear the boogie man than the police auditor.

  11. #12- Got a name, or is making ignorant comments done better in secret? I think you better read what I said again. I made it clear the speaker’s comments fell on deaf ears, and I didn’t think that was right…… Got it now?

    I think you’d be the first person screaming for a Police Officer if someone was beating your brains out, harming a family member, or destroying your property.

    Grow up Barney Fife and realize that there are not all bad cops, and not all bad people!

  12. Kathleen in San Jose

    Don’t be too hard on Barney.  That was a lot to read and understand.  Maybe when he/she finds someone to read it to him/her and explain what the words mean, he/she will think differently.

  13. The female employees who work in the Auditor’s Office may have brought the situation upon themselves – they may be attractive women who dress nicely.  Until the investigation is over, we should withold judgement.

    Additionally, this could be a case of character assassination, not unlike what happened to Joe Guerra and Ron Gonzales and O.J. Simpson and Michael Richards and Don Imus and Scott Peterson and Mark Fuhrman.

  14. #16 David D., Thanks for the offer, but I prefer to walk and ride buses.  I’m glad #9 cleared up my confusion.  Yes, it is legal to ride on the sidewalk, but bicyclists must yield to pedestrians.  I just get annoyed when someone on a bicycle rides by at 10 to 15 mph and nearly hits me.  But, I guess there are also careless motorists and pedestrians too.

  15. Hi Kathleen,
    Excellenct points you make in #8. I watched some of the meeting from home and it was very interesting. I don’t think some of the outbursts during the meeting helped those there to support the IPA though.

    I am not sure why Barney Fife is so fixated on us as he has now mentioned us together in the same posts 3 or 4 times. It is rather strange but I guess that is what makes this an interesting format as it brings out all types. I am sure he would be the first calling 911 if needed and then complaining the cops weren’t doing enough to help him.

  16. #18…You can’t be serious, can you??  “The female employees who work in the Auditor’s Office may have brought the situation upon themselves – they may be attractive women who dress nicely.” 

    Please reassure us that you’re being sarcastic and aren’t a relic from the 1950’s.
    If you are for real, people like you are the reason that sexual harassment lawsuits result in multi-million dollar judgements.

  17. Hi Dave,
    I agree that some of the outbursts were out of order, and made them look bad. Their behavior didn’t do much for their cause that’s for sure.
    I am disappointed in the way the IPA behaved throughout this whole thing. She needs to rethink the way she is doing things. The IPA would be the first to call the Police if she or her property were in jeopardy, and the last to acknowledge the Police for helping her. I am deeply concerned about the way she is creating fear in the public about going to the Police, or reporting crimes. I can’t remember a time, in recent history, when there was a more anti Police attitude in San Jose, then since this lady took over as IPA. It’s sad to think so many immigrants don’t report crimes against them because they have been led to believe the Police will harm them.
    (As to Barney, he holds no credibility with me. Any one who signs his name with a fictitious character like that needs medication.)

    #18- Get a grip. Women do not have to dress like an unattractive hag to be treated with respect by a man. Your mentality is like a man who claims it wasn’t his fault when he raped a woman because she had on a short skirt and a see through blouse.
    There are lots of dirty old men at City Hall. I see lots of men in high positions lusting after young, beautiful, appropriately dressed aides.  If these old letches knew what these young girls really thought of them, and if they really knew how disgusted these young girls are by this unwanted attention by an old ugly man, they’d be embarrassed. You’re in the 2007-century Mark wake up. Women are allowed to have brains and looks now, and the law requires you to behave with respect and professionalism towards them!

  18. Barney/Juan,
    Frankly, I am not interested in your name. It is obvious that your bizarre posts are meant only to harass those who are using this forum for thoughtful comments and exchange of ideas. I learned a long time ago that it is impossible to be rational with someone who is irrational, and you would seem to fit into the former. I do hope that the moderators of SJI do not publish your posts if they are just to harass those who have legitimate points.

  19. Juan,
    I have two half black sisters, even though I am white. I have seen my sisters beat up, made to sit in the back of the bus, and heard them called the “N” word, when I was growing up. As a little girl, I was constantly called a “N” lover. So, please don’t preach to me because I’m white. You are judging me based on my name, linking me to being white, but you are expecting me to treat you with the respect you are not giving me, just because your name is Juan.
    I’m 50 and I know full well how bad discrimination in this country is. I have dedicated my adult life to teaching and conducting tolerance, and anti hate workshops. While I agree, that as a nation and a people we have a long way to go to stopping discrimination, I also feel strongly that we must each be responsible for our own conduct. Living in the US doesn’t give us the right to act like gang bangers, say horrible things to others, or spread hate, no matter what color we are.
    As Supervisor Alvarado said in her public forum on hate and Police abuse, we must be careful how we behave, we must expect intolerance if we present ourselves badly, and we MUST take responsibility for what we say and do. In other words, the color of your skin doesn’t give you the right to act badly and get a way with it.
    I have seen way too much going on towards immigrants, blacks, WHITES, Hispanics and I don’t like it. In case it missed your radar Juan, whites are being discriminated against too. Hate and disrespect is wrong, period.
    If you watch Thursday night’s Council Meeting and can say the bad behavior by the crowd was acceptable, then I think you might want to ask yourself why. People who yell, scream, and act out create fear and disgust, and people close their ears to their message. It is only through respect, open communication that one gets heard.
    And finally let me say this, my father was in the Army. As a child I traveled all over the world. We are very lucky in this country because as flawed as our government is, and as bad as some people think our Police in San Jose are (I disagree with that perception, I think we have an excellent Police force) try visiting another country and pull yelling at a political offical, or call a cop a pig, or spit on em. You’ll be beaten, or dead faster than you can blink twice. So take another look around you Juan, and thank God you’re in the US so you can speak your mind, your heart, and be thankful your voice gets heard!

  20. Just a correction to my prior post #23. I stated “I learned a long time ago that it is impossible to be rational with someone who is irrational, and you would seem to fit into the former”. I meant to state latter rather than former. Kathleen, your post #24 is extremely eloquent and well stated.

  21. Dave,
    I agree wholeheartedly with your conniption in post #26 about post #23 and commending others on their fine pots.  That #20 probably doesn’t know what hit him.  The former being unmatched in taking the ladder to the blog woodshed. 

    And rightly so.

  22. Novice: I’m not sure I understand your post #27. 

    What does this mean:  “That #20 probably doesn’t know what hit him.  The former being unmatched in taking the ladder to the blog woodshed.  And rightly so.”

    The “ladder” or the “latter”? 

    Help….

  23. #9: I don’t recollect the exact California Vehicle Code section, but it is against State law to ride a bicycle on the sidewalk.  Sorry to confuse you, Reginald, but #9 is dead wrong.  But don’t worry, even Mr. Roadshow in the Murky was unaware of the illegality of bike riding on the sidewalk for a long time.

  24. RE: #29: I believe the California Vehicle Code does not prohibit riding a bicycle on a sidewalk and instead it is up to individual cities to prohibit.  CVC 21200(a) is sometimes cited as a reason to not use a bicycle on a sidewalk (as it says that a bicycle rider is subject to the provisions applicable to a vehicle driver), but it applies only to highways (which accoding to CVC 360 includes streets and other things open to vehicular travel [and CVC 670 excludes exclusively human powered devices]).  But someone may point out that CVC 550 says highways seem to be defined to also include sidewalks, but CVC 21663 only seems to prohibit motor vehicles from sidewalks (and bicycles seem to not be included as a motor vehicle in CVC 415).

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