Dando and Baron Dealt to New York Red Bull Soccer Team
In a series of lightening quick deals, disgraced soccer superstar Zinedine Zidane, just days after his contract with Spanish soccer power Real Madrid expired, was acquired by the New York Red Bull franchise of Major League Soccer and immediately traded to the San Jose Chamber of Commerce Political Action Committee.
The details of the trade have not been made public, but those close to the deal say that Chamber President and CEO Pat Dando, along with Immediate Past Board Chairman Bill Baron, are part of a deal that will have them playing soccer in New York for several seasons.
“Although we are sad to see our two heavyweights leave,” said Board Chair Nanci Williams, “we finally have a legitimate enforcer who will be able to step right in and intimidate.”
Strategists believe that Zidane will be put to use in San Jose’s general election, head butting those who are not “Chamber-friendly.” Others believe the deal was consummated strictly for use in the group’s recent lawsuit against the city. “Can you imagine that guy sitting in court staring at you,” explained uber-attorney JohnMichael O’Connor, “it would be like watching Luca Brazzi hold one of your kids—just a bit nerve-wracking, but effective.”
Political Analyst Larry Gersten, explaining on cable television during the Bill Chew Variety Hour, said, “setting the lawsuit aside, the Chamber has obviously learned their lesson and decided it was a lot cheaper just to physically remove their opponents, rather than producing glossy, mail-shot hit pieces.
“I’m ecstatic about the trade,” said Bill Baron, “I have been practicing dives in my backyard with the kids.”
Very appropriate for Bastille Day.
I understand Pat Dando’s response was simply, “let them eat cake.”
Given the mentality of some on this board, the mass beheading of public officials—past and present—is not too difficult to understand.
Viva la San Jose
..in other news, the Houston Dynamo (formally the SJ Earthquakes) reportedly turned down an offer from the City of San Jose to trade current starting Mayor Ron Gonzales for a bag of rocks and a pile of dirt.
Houston GM, Oliver Luck, stated that the rocks and dirt were simply too much to give up for embattled Mayor.
“Why would we give up our perfectly fine rocks and dirt?” said Houston GM, Luck. “all San Jose wants to give up is a similiar pile in Gonzales”
Update:
In a stunning 11th hour development Zidane has declined the trade that would bring him to San Jose.
The soccer star tells Agence France Presse “It was all a big misunderstanding. I am known for my expertise with head butts, not buttheads.”
To show that there are no hard feelings the San Jose Chamber sent Zidane a complimentary Houston Dynamo soccer jersey.
Dear San Jose:
My information is different. I heard that Zidane will be traded to San Jose, but will only play for one year at $4 million, and that the Grand Prix will have to be cancelled next year in order for the city to meet his demands. The mayor’s office has responded that they would be receptive to such an arrangement provided that Zidane drove a garbage truck on his off days and promises to never head-butt the rotunda.
————————
Pretty sad that the Fire Chief has to take a step back to accomodate a set of rules that were implemented because of Chairman Ron. Isn’t it amazing how many new rules have been created , and are being created, to try and put limits and boundaries on just one person? What a legacy! We have a bunch of new rules that we have to follow just because of one bad player!
How many days until the election?
Pete Campbell
Just hours ago Zhindane Zidane, while visiting Chamber headquarters, tripped and dove over a shredding machine, fell to the floor in a heap and clutched his right ankle, writhing in pain. After being rushed to VMC by ambulance, the soccer superstar jumped up off the gurney and jogged down Bascom Street towards downtown. It was later determined that a hangnail was to be blamed for the temporary incapacity.
San Jose has relied on good people and City Manager and City Attorney doing what is in the public good. The political game has changed after Gonzo and now Dando with her attack pieces and lawsuit so we need to look at what rules other cities have to prevent abuses, conflict of interest, unethical behavior and waste of taxpayer money
Unless you want San Jose to be Gonzalesed or Dandoed in the future
Let me see.
In Santa Clara, we have an award winning ethics policy and set of guidelines, and the city staff and council that developed it deserve praise. Two members of that City Council are the best candidates we have for Mayor.
We had a council member named Jamie Matthews who devised his own list of who should be on a commission, based on his desire to be Mayor of Santa Clara, where he was likely to change the name of the town to Matthews City. However, after a’scheming and a’dealing, he discovered most people feel more comfortable with Patricia Mahan (incumbent) and John McLemore (Vice Chair of the Metro Transit Commission). So Jamie has ridden off into the sunset with the band.
Did I mention that in the 1970s, Ron Gonzales was our first HUD program staffer? Our city manager at the time felt he did not brief the City Council enough on deals he made. Oh, what Don Von knew back then.
Does Ron play the oboe? I think the Matthews Mayoral Quartet needs an oboe.
More Friday Satire –
PROPOSED NEW LAW FROM CONGRESS MAY AID SAN JOSE, CA.
THE AMERICANS WITH NO ABILITIES ACT
WASHINGTON, DC – Congress is considering sweeping legislation, which provides new benefits for many Americans. The Americans With No Abilities Act (AWNA ACT) is being hailed as a major legislation by advocates
of the millions of Americans who lack any real skills or ambition.
The fact that roughly 50 percent of Americans do not possess the competence and drive necessary to carve out a meaningful role for themselves in society, was over heard from Senator Boxer (D-Cal.). We can no longer stand by and allow People of Inability (known as the Nonable) to be ridiculed, put down and passed over. With this legislation, employers will no longer be able to grant special favors to the small group of individuals, simply because they do a better job, are actually competent or have some idea of what they are doing.
Congress and the President will be asked to review the success of the San Jose, Ca. City Council, which has a long-standing policy of providing opportunity for advancement without regard to performance. A large percentage of San Jose politicians lack sufficient job skills, making this one of the largest US employer of Persons of Inability.
Most Federal and State Governmental Departments also share similar opportunities for the Nonable. Private sector industries with good records of nondiscrimination against the Inept include retail sales, the garbage, auto, defense and airline industries, as well as every State’s Dept. of Motor Vehicles. All have a great record of hiring and promoting Persons of Inability.
Under the proposed AWAN ACT more than 25 million “middle level” positions will be created, with important-sounding titles but little or no real responsibility, thus providing an illusory sense of purpose and performance for the vast majority of inept workers.
Boxer noted that mandatory non-performance-based raises and unearned
promotions will be given, to guarantee upward mobility for even the most
unremarkable employees. Nothing in the Act will favor those competent few
who actually do the work.
The legislation provides tax breaks to corporations which maintain a significant level of Persons of Inability in middle positions, and gives a tax credit to small and medium businesses that agree to hire one clueless
worker for every two talented hires. There will be no changes in any Governmental Departments. A substantial tax increase on all wage earners will fund the proposal.
Finally, the AWNA ACT contains tough new measures to make it more difficult
to discriminate against the Nonabled, banning HR Dept. discriminatory interview questions such as “What are your goals for the future?” or “Do you have any skills or experience which relate to this job?”
“As a Nonabled person, I can’t be expected to keep up with people who have something going for them,” said Ronny G. who will loose his coveted position and have to look elsewhere for a cushy new one, due to his lack of notable promotional skills. “This new law should really help people like me.”
It is reported his present position will be automated as one of his trusted coworkers may soon acquire it.
With the passage of this bill, Ronny and millions of other untalented citizens can finally see a light at the end of the tunnel.
Senator Kennedy (D.Mass.) noted, It is our elected duty as lawmakers to provide each and every voting citizen, regardless of his or her adequacy, with some sort of space to take up in this great nation. After all what are we here for if not to spread the wealth and be reelected?
Bill advocates are pressing for passage and are urging Nonabled voters to contact their individual representatives. Little response is expected as this may take some un-accustom effort on their part.
The bill sponsors will once again turn to their friends in the news media, lobbyists and large Public and Private Union political action committees, all champions in the past of amassing votes and voters to turn out in support of similar legislation and inept candidates.
It was rumored that if passed indicted San Jose, Ca. Mayor Gonzales may be considered for appointment as the new AWNA ACT czar due to his widely publicized efforts in support of past contributors and his leadership style.
Finally, a real position that can use the lobby work of Richard R. and his fellow camp followers. This really exploits the talents of the demos he champions and gives them the promotion trail they work so hard to achieve.
It’s too bad we don’t get a chance to vote on it.
#8 Get your facts straight! I dislike what Ronny G has turned into but when he started out in Santa Clara in the 1970’s he was a decent guy with a happy family and only good intentions.
Fact: Gonzo was Santa Clara’s first CDBG Home Rehab Coordinator BUT he didn’t have any authority at his level to do any “deals” as your alluding to.
Fact: Most of the projects covered by that City program help very low-income elderly and disabled residents make badly needed health and safety repairs that they otherwise could not afford without the City’s assistance.
Fact: Without Ron and that program, Santa Clara seniors and disabled residents on fixed incomes (like Social Security) would be living in homes without working furnaces, without working water heaters, and with leaking plumbing and roofs.
Additionally, we’re tired of the constant Anti-Matthews and Anti-Santa Clara comments!!!
JMO’C- You made the Friday satire! Now you are really my hero! Can you give those of us who are new to San Jose a brief (or not) bio of yourself?
R.R. #2 there will be no knitting in Saint James Park.
As you say, some on this board can’t wait for the opportunity to pull up a front row chair in the public square and begin knitting.
Others chant and protest with blind passion in support of ‘our savior’, ‘champion of the people’ claiming he is the victim of a conspiracy wrought in minds of the valley’s bourgeoisie.
Those who have been marginalized, pressured, coerced and maybe bullied by this Mayor or his right hand man will anxiously paw through closets, drawers and attics in search of grandma’s old knitting needles. Others will pray for his soul, contribute to his legal defense fund and walk precincts for his heir apparent.
San Jose is not France. These are not the best of times, nor are they the worst of times. This is a part of a process well beyond those times.
San Jose; it’s charter, City Hall, all those who strive to make this a better place to live and work, and value an open democratic constructive process will survive this process; for it is a process of “Continuous Improvement”.
There will be no knitting in Saint James Park, nor will this city give in to its self-appointed Price Bishop. This city is beyond both of those extremes. This Mayor will be remembered for all that he’s done for San Jose and rightly so. He will be remembered as well for how he chose to go about that. All of these were his choices; and he is the one that will have to live with them.
San Jose is a great city of hard working caring people. It’s where I was born, raised and still call home. It’s a city that will survive this and go on to better things.
There will be no knitting in Saint James Park.
David D.
Hello #13 D D. ! Wake up… the I have a dream bit was years ago!
“caring people… Continuous Improvement”?
As usual ( like the last 8 years ) San Jose will get the best government big MONEY can buy.
AS SOMEONE INVOLVED IN MILPITAS REAL ESTATE FOR SOME TIME, AND, AS OF JANUARY, A SAN JOSE VOTER WHO DID NOT SUPPORT CINDY CHAVEZ, I AM GOING TO SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT.
Item One:
Chuck Reed is a well know figure around the San Jose/Milpitas track……What is best said about him is that he very much has the credo of Richard III, Smile, but prove a soundrel.
This esteemed advocate of citizen rights…but on his terms, uses his title, council member or county planning commissioner, to advocate deals for his clients and his friends.
Item Two
Reed denies nothing, because he refuses to answer to anything. He smears and then denies any connection to it. Look at Armando, who sleazed and smeared all over city politics in Milpitas, with Chuck’s backing.
Item Three
I do not know if I am going to vote for Cindy or not. She has to answer a lot of questions…..but the question of the day for the blind apologists of Reed is, why did he meet in secret with developers in Militas? Chuck is well known in Milipitas circles as a self appointed kingpin of local affairs. He might the developers here,because Chuck feels he has immunity in Milpitas…and he is very concerned about this developer scandal, and don’t let anyone say otherwise. Chuck lied and now it will not go away.
Item Three
Chuck was with Gonzales on must issues…except when it was shown to him by his handlers, that is was not good to be with Gonzales…Chuck dropped him, just like he wants to drop some others that got him into this new mess in Milpitas.
Item Four
Reed has proposed nothing for San Jose and will proposed nothing for San Jose. No program, poikcy..or ideal. How can a person stand for anything when he believes in nothing?
Again, I have no desire to excuse Cindy from anything and I am certain I will hear from the Chuck excusers, handlers, schemers, and just plain stooges, that Chuck has done NOTHING WRONG.
He did by meeting in secret with these developers and trying to hide it from the city, just like Norcal. At the end of the day, strip him of all the malcontents and Barrynessas, but at the end of the day, Chuck, regardless of whether your accusers are people with controversies themselves, IT DOES NOT HIDE WHAT WE KNOW
You are as uninterested about the public’s right to know as a lot of your colleagues are.
You hid the facts of the meeting, you will continue to deflect and smear, and hide.
You just do not know how wlse to do anything.
Maybe it is time for a tabloid about you.
Number 12
That basketball team of yours wasn’t any good anyway
#8 Stick to the CAC for the anti-SC comments and Jamie-bashing.
Some post are starting to sound like sour grapes for not getting appointed to a certain City’s Planning Commission.
Will Chuck come clean / New San Jose etc aka Dale Warner
Sorry, but just as Mal Content is likely not a Reed advisor, I, New San Jose, am who I am and not anyone else.
But Glad could be anyone, as they do not say who they are, just by their actions, a Read apologist
Thank you for some reasonable questions.
As for Cisco, Chuck made the motion to shut down the investigation.
I will personally post answers to all of the other questions day by day.
Your willingness to discuss issues rather than personalities is ok with me.
We will put the Hoestetter Scandal issues aside for now and list the issues. Then we can talk again about the Reed miscues concerning the Hoestetter scandal.
#16 New S.J.
Let me start by saying that I voted for Pandori, and at this point, am not part of Chuck’s or Cindy’s team. You stated that Chuck voted with Gonzo on most of the issues. Would you please post Chuck’s, Cindy’s and Ron’s voting records on the following important issues that cost us millions. Cisco, New City Hall, Grand Prix, County Fairgrounds, Tropicana, Ballpark, The Tent, The Fox Markovitz Building, Evergreen, Coyote Valley, NSJ and Norcal. This would be a great help to those of us who still have not made up our minds yet. These have all been costly mistakes! The best way we can predict how they may vote in the future is to know how they voted in the past.
Thanks
#20 and others: please, what EXACTLY is the alleged “Hoestetter Scandal “? Can something be a scandal if only a dozen bloggers know what it is?
Metro was unenlightening. Dale Warner refuses my request to give DETAILED FACTS—ya know, like who, when, where, etc.
Will this remain vague innuendo forever, or will some Chuck hater step up to the plate and provide details…or are there none to provide?
All I know is what other people in Milpitas told me and that was shared with others, but not these othern people you talk about.
By the way, didn’t someone offer to give you the material, and you said no?
Typical Read apologist. JMC is scared about what the Hoestetter scandal means for his protector, Chuck, and also it seemed when someone offered to give him material, he refused it.
What Read apologist and Read operative JMC forgets is that this was what people that doubted Ron G guilt over Norcal were saying. Show us the proof they said.
Well, just like Ron, Mr. Integrity, who by his own name must live up to higher standards, tried to violate the ethics laws by holding a secret meeting with developers to make promises.
As the Hoestetter Scandal Chronology shows, Reed wanted to go against city management.
Someone offered to give JMC the files, and he refused, showing how scared he is that the Hoestetter Scandal, like two other secret deals that Chuck participated in which will surface in August, will bring Chuck down.
Indeed, Chuck did violate County Ethics rules over a hearing at the Planning Commission in 1999 when he used his title of County Planning Commissioner on behalf of a chemical plant.
No, 22 and 23, I did not refuse the material from Dale Warner. I declined to have coffee with him one-on-one to discuss it, and asked him to post it here for all to see. He has not done so, so I must surmise there is no there, there, until I see some FACTS.
Several people have commented on this alleged scandal by asking for particulars. Y’all keep refusing to provide them on this blog. Hhmm, why could that be?
Yo, #23. Are your facts as poor as your spelling? Its “Reed” , Not “Read”.
But after all the rancor from y’all, still no FACTS. Hhmm, why could that be?
I didn’t realize Chuck was a County Planning Commisioner. I thought he was a City of San Jose Planning Commisioner. You sure you got that right, Mr. Anonymous 23?
Dale, New San Jose and other anonymous bloggers
Where are the Reed scandal facts ? – Who, What When, Where and any documents to back up your accusations or will we see more hot air
Time to put up or shut up and stop attacking people asking for scandal facts