City Hall Diary
As many of you know, the San Jose City Council is on recess for the month of July. Therefore, I thought I would share something lighthearted with you.
“Monday Night Live,” a comic theater production by the San Jose Stage Company, is an ongoing tradition for some. The yearly event started about ten years ago and depicts well known San Jose officials in a comical manner. The event acts as a fundraiser for the theater company and mimics the TV show, “Saturday Night Live.” “Monday Night Live” can be very sarcastic, silly and even self-deprecating. I was asked to participate this year as an Italian (what an original idea) in a “Sopranos” skit.
The theme of the production this year was lobbyists. Worth noting is that the person behind “Monday Night Live” is none other than the front-man lobbyist himself, Jerry Strangis. If you remember, I don’t like lobbyists (smile). Rather, I don’t like what lobbyists have done, so I was excited to participate in this “let’s rip on lobbyists comedy.”
I love theater in my own right and enjoy movies old and new. One of my favorite movie scenes was in “A Few Good Men,” where Jack Nicholson and Tom Cruise exchange words at the trial on the witness stand.
My imagination got the best of me. I was thinking about this scene and decided to put words to paper. I took the scene and rewrote it, modifying the words in the original dialogue to a courtroom exchange about lobbyists between Allen Ruby—the attorney for ex-Mayor Ron Gonzales—and me.
Here is my rewrite:
ALLEN RUBY: I would like an answer to the question Judge. Councilman Oliverio . . . you made the call. You Placed the Order. You personally gave approval and made it happen. Councilman Oliverio, did you place the order?
OLIVERIO: I’ll answer the question. You want answers?
ALLEN RUBY: I think I’m entitled to them.
OLIVERIO: You want answers?
ALLEN RUBY: I want the truth!
OLIVERIO: You can’t handle the truth! Allen, we live in a city that has walls. And those walls have to be guarded from lobbyists. Who’s gonna do it? You? Les White? Rick Doyle? I have a greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom. You weep for Ron Gonzales and you curse SanJoseInside. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know: that the downfall of Tony Arreola and Sean Kali-Rai, while tragic, probably saved San Jose’s remaining industrial lands. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, saves Coyote Valley from development . . . You don’t want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don’t talk about at the Chamber and Labor Temple, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
We use words like “no bundling of checks,” “no back door meetings,” “clean money” . . . we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use ‘em as a punch line. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the Reed Reforms I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it! I’d rather you just said “thank you” and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a checkbook and write me a check for $250. Either way, I don’t give a damn what you think you’re entitled to!
ALLEN RUBY: Did you order the blow-up doll to Jerry Strangis’s house?
OLIVERIO: I did the job the people sent me to do.
ALLEN RUBY: Did you order the blow-up doll?
OLIVERIO: You’re goddamn right I did!
My script wasn’t used; however, I stand by it.
Have a good week.
Today’s Mercury (1B-2B) stated that we are spending $1.5 billion to renovate SJI.
Why are we wasting this money on an airport? It certainly is not needed in San Jose since its benefits can be achieved no matter where it is located.
Let’s get rid of this white elephant, move it to Hollister, and build a high speed rail between San Jose and Hollister for airport passengers.
Use the airport land for something constructive that will generate more tax revenue and improve the quality of life throughout Santa Clara County.
Of course, downtown can then start growing without the airport’s constant whining that downtown is in the airport’s way.
Vote yes on any WiFi city-wide proposal. Only by bankrupting the taxpayer can we have true prosperity. As for streets, parks and community centers; don’t fund them. San Jose needs more City Halls and MHPs. By annihilating the taxpayer, San Jose can become a world class city.
You said Monday Night Live “depicts well known San Jose officials in a comical manner.” Other than costing us a lot more, how is this different from Tuesday Night Live every week in the Council chambers?
Pierluigi:
I’m glad that you brought this subject up. One of the problems our city faces is that the members of the city council take themselves far too seriously. You mentioned “self-deprecating humor,” I think its exactly the opposite. The members of the San Jose city council should stop inflating their self-importance, and start taking their jobs more seriously themselves! Consider: Why isn’t their a self-deprecating skit done for councilmembers in other cities? Why don’t city officials from Cupertino or Santa Clara promote themselves (by making light of themselves) through similar events? (I understand that a member of the San Jose city council actually shaved his head for a laugh) (incredible!)
Here’s a radical idea…why don’t the members of the San Jose city council behave like the rest of us? And, next year, rather than staging a stupid event to draw attention to themselves, they would instead devote the time, energy, and attention to clean up a park or repair a street in the districts that they claim to represent.
Pete Campbell
George Green and Forrest Williams for Co-Mayors of San Jose in 2010. Let’s turn San Jose into a lush Green-Forrest.
Lobbyist hum… I’ve noticed that they come in all shapes and forms. I question the reason there is a “public comment,” section of the Council Meeting when it appears that ALL decisions have already been made, prior to the Council Meetings.
I think all lobbying should be done in and at the Council Meetings during the public comment portion. Oh excuse me, that would require full disclosure, honesty, public input, and integrity. Geech, what was I thinking?
#5
Every time a politician behaves “like the rest of us” then the fools of SJ, and the U.S., start complaining that politicians have no character, are incompetent, etc.
Here’s a radical idea. Why don’t the voters stop acting like prima donnas, start acting in a positive manner, and quit complaining about a politician’s peccadilloes.
The City Council is on recess the month of July and will be back in session the month of August. The Circus will be appearing at HP Pavilion in August, hmmm ….
Pierluigi, good script… truth and humor all rolled into one.
On the subject of lobbyists, is there some lobbying activity behind the proposal to open up WiFi city-wide? I can’t imagine why that makes sense, given our present budget deficit situation.
I’d bet that most San Jose residents would much prefer to see that money spent on roads, parks, etc. It seems, however, that the City Council goes for the “bling-bling” everytime… a couple of billion poured into Downtown, a half billion spent on the City Hall building, etc.
I know you’re an IT kind of guy, but I hope you vote no on this proposal.
Pierre,
You should take your show on the road because it is getting old here in SJ…This just in from the Mercury News: Charges Dropped…
http://www.mercurynews.com/ci_6340979
Pandori should be investigated for his ethical lapse in pursuing this politcal hack job that was intended to promote his run for Mayor.