Pygmies Call for Congressman Lantos’s Resignation

Reverend Sharpton Lends Support to Bay Area Chapter of Diminutive Hunter-Gatherers

Unafraid of Congressman Lantos’s verbal haranguing of web behemoth Yahoo during a congressional hearing into possible human liberties violations by the web browser, the Bay Area Pygmy Coalition has garnered national support in their call for the Democratic representative’s resignation.

During the day-long hearings Rep. Lantos repeatedly called Yahoo Chief Executive Jerry Yang and his General Counsel Michael Callahan pygmies. “You are giants of technology but a hunting-gathering, diminutive people, living on the wild products of your environment who trade with neighboring farmers to acquire cultivated foods and Apple products.”

The pygmy population has condemned his statements as “shockingly narrow minded” and vowed to see the end to his career in public service if not spear him with a spit and cook him over an open fire.

“Mr. Lantos’s statements were hurtful and racially charged,” said one rather stout pygmy in a loin cloth. “To liken us to tech titans is the ultimate slight – we have never slept under a desk or relied on Twinkies and Red Bull to get us through the night. We are calling for an immediate beheading, er, resignation.”

During the first of what appears will be hourly addresses to the press, Reverend Sharpton addressed the media’s comments that Rep. Lantos’s statements were all true, by saying, “Pygmies may be a diminutive, hunter-gatherer race of people, but that doesn’t make Mr. Lantos’s comments any less inflammatory.”

8 Comments

  1. In regard to members of Congress, and other individuals, being bothered about Yahoo cooperating with the Chinese government I have to wonder what their stand is regarding the Patriot Act. 

    What will they say if an ISP stands up to the U.S. government, and says no, when the government comes looking for our Internet usage?

  2. Lantos and Sharpton have both been in the public way to long.  Retire to private life please, please, please.  I’m surprised that Sharpton hasent’ been involved with the “Dog the Bounty Hunter”  mess.  He seems to be in everything else.  Maybe we can send the Dog after the Yahoo execs.

  3. Reverend Sharpton is one of the biggest racists I’ve ever seen. He is a walking definition of reverse discrimination. I’ve always been amused when these men of God take great pleasure in unforgiving acts of publicly bashing someone to pieces. I rarely see them practicing what they preach. Sharpton is one of the most pompous, hypocritical “ministers,” I’ve seen in a very long time.

  4. It’s bad enough when a private company disses cavemen; but for a sitting Congressmen to diss pygmys is inexcusable.

    There must be a hostile work environment in Congress; yet Jerry Silva and Colleen Wilcox got sacked for less.

  5. Congressman’s Evil Past Uncovered

    Washington (Yahoo News)—In a development that has left the Beltway in a state of disbelief, it was revealed early this morning that prior to his election to Congress, longtime San Francisco Bay Area representative Tom Lantos spent several decades as a member of America’s criminal underground, operating under the name of Simon Bar Sinister.

    “Of course we’re all shocked,” said White House spokesperson Dana Perino, “no one more so than the president, who just couldn’t believe that he didn’t notice the resemblance before.” Perino went on to say that the president has long considered Simon Bar Sinister number three on his personal most wanted list, after, of course, Osama bin Laden and Dr. Evil.

    The congressman’s true identity was discovered when he was seen on television by a viewer who’d tuned into the Yahoo inquiry and caught sight of Lantos as he threatened Jerry Yang with a dangerous potion (see link for image).

    http://content.answers.com/main/content/wp/en/8/82/SimonBarSinister.jpg

    The viewer who blew the congressman’s cover, identified only as [email protected], hometown unknown, was apparently a frequent victim of the evil deeds Lantos committed during his Sinister years.

    “I will never forget his heartless face nor his sinister laugh,” Purebred was quoted, while revealing that she believes that Simon Bar Sinister alone knows what horrible fate really befell her beloved Underdog.

    When asked how it feels to see her chronic tormentor finally brought to justice, Miss Purebred had only this to say:

    “Yahoooo…”

  6. Some off color, non politically correct pygmy humor.

    “How many Pygmies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Answer…Two. But they have to be in the mood and very, VERY, small!”

    Sorry in advance.

  7. #3,
    Rev. Sharpton is right there with all those Right-Wing so-called Christians when it comes to discrimination and hypocrisy.  These people claim a moral high-ground (yes, I’m talking to you George W.!), yet support death and destruction in the Middle East (as long as oil’s involved, I guess it’s OK), “Leave no Billionaire behind” at the expense of the average working American (nice going on the AMT tax debate), and would discriminate against women/people of color in a heart beat!  If I’ve offended some readers of this blog, OH WELL!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *