Kids Need Options

Violent crime among young people is on the increase, according to a new study by James Fox and Marc Swatt from Northwestern University. Fox and Swatt indicate that the much heralded decline in youth crime in the 1990s has ceased.  According to anecdotal data of my neighbors and friends, we are experiencing a rising tide of youth crime and gang-related violence in the suburbs of San Jose.

Programs that work to reduce gang violence usually include keeping children in school with teachers that form meaningful relationships with them. In addition, getting teenagers jobs with counseling and other career opportunities is seen as critical to youth crime abatement. 

In down economic times securing jobs is problematic for the average person, let alone a teenager looking for ways to make money.

Gandhi said, “If we are to teach real peace we must begin with the children.”

On March 18, the County Board of Education will hear a staff report on gang prevention efforts in the valley. Prevention is the key here…intervention programs are usually far more costly and less valuable in attaining the goal.

Too often when children get involved in the juvenile justice system they are marginalized and scripted for a lifetime of crime. With the safety net becoming increasingly frayed, our city and county must remain vigilant in deterring youth crime through quality neighborhood and in-school programs. We can pay now or we can pay later.

Please share your ideas on how we can reduce the rising tide of youth crime and gang violence.

Joseph Di Salvo is a member of the Santa Clara County Office of Education’s Board of Trustees. He is a San Jose native. His columns reflect his personal opinion.

36 Comments

  1. Joseph,

    Do you think there will ever, ever be a return to the days when parents took responsibility for their children? 

    Asking our schools to shoulder more and more parental obligation is not the answer. 

    Why do you suppose parents have children, only to abandon them and expect the schools to raise them properly?  Tough questions that need answering.

  2. “Please share your ideas on how we can reduce the rising tide of youth crime and gang violence.”

    Greg Howe hit the nail on the head; parental involvement is the key to resolving this issue. Parents are so busy working to make ends meet that these kids are left alone too much. Parents need to begin by leading by example, holding their kids accountable for their bad behaviors, and they need to start taking a greater interest in their children period.

    One very important element that rarely gets discussed when this topic comes up is how few of these kids have fathers in their lives. Women need to stop allowing the fathers of these kids born out of wedlock to avoid taking responsibility for their kids. I worked in Victim Offender Mediation, and with the Neighborhood Accountability Board for years. It was shocking to me that 90%, yes 90%, of these kids either had fathers they had never met, or fathers that weren’t actively involved in their lives. When I asked them how they felt about their fathers being absent from their lives, I can tell you the answers I got were heart wrenching to say the least.

    The schools can only do so much, and raising a child isn’t their responsibility. Whether they like it or not, that job is solely that of their family and parents. I think parents need to get that having a child means a lifetime commitment to them, and that includes making sure they stay out of trouble, and get a good education.  Sadly, gangs after all are merely substitute families to these kids, and getting into trouble is just a cry for attention/help.

  3. Greg-

    Huh??? Oh I see I left out the word “tell”. I don’t see how that was an invitation though, perhaps you are projecting?

    I will be more direct:

    Statements like “Do you think there will ever, ever be a return to the days when parents took responsibility for their children?” Just sound stupid. There are good parents there are not so good parents and there are really bad parents. This is how it always has been and probably how it will always will be. To believe that there was some magical time in the past when all was good and right in the world is delusional and does nothing to solve today’s problems.

    -Steve

  4. Steve,
    There was a time kids received better parenting than they do now. Like Greg, I remember when getting pregnant out of wedlock earned you a very special hurtful name, and cost you friends. Most kids had to earn their keep, and pay for their own extras. I remember back when a man getting a woman pregnant was forced to marry her, and support his child, or even other men would shun him. I remember Mom being at home and Dad working, and parents inviting the teacher over for dinner to discuss their child’s progress.

    Times have certainly changed, some for the good, and some for the bad, but in the end, our kids today are in serious trouble and they need our help yesterday.

  5. Steve,

    I won’t treat you in kind by intimating that your statements are “stupid” and “delusional.”  I think readers are now sufficently aware of your less than engaging behavior.

  6. Kathleen-

    I do not disagree with you on how things are today and the need for more parental responsibility but I also I do think you are looking in the past though rose colored glasses. That is my point…. it is a silly trap I guess that all of us like to fall into as we get older, it comforts us but it is also rather ignorant of us and it does not help with the problems we have today.

    I can also recall a time in the 20th century when there were no child labor laws, instutianlized racisium, a goverement sponsed eugenics program, no woman’s rights, the Tuskegee Syphilis Study… I could go on and on… the 1950’s land of wonderfulness in America never existed folks, get over it.

    I grew up in Saratoga in the 70’s. My high school had drugs, brutal fights, pregnant teens, latch key kids, kids who committed suicide, and kids who killed other students….. and this was Saratoga!!!

  7. Not to belittle the issue, but I lay the blame on the perceived degradation in the quality of our children on the increased availability of information. Back in the “good old days,” about the only way you got news was local radio, TV, and newspapers. The national TV news dealt with the big issues of the day…wars, presidential elections, natural disasters. Ditto newspapers, except they took more time to focus on matters of local import, as did radio.

    Today, when a toddler is abducted in Florida, we hear about it instantaneously. When a school gets shot up in Illinois, we hear about it immediately. We are becoming a society suffering from information overload, with an inability to filter the incredible amount of data pouring down on us.

    Were things better in “the good old days?” I grew up in Chicago, where there were parts of town one didn’t dare to wander. In the mid-80’s, when I moved to the White/Alum Rock area, locals questioned my sanity for living on the East Side. Ikea would never have dreamed of an East Palo Alto store!

    Nevertheless, it is important to keep striving to create the opportunity for our at-risk kids to succeed. I would start by railing against the proposal to use tobacco money to fund school crossing guards. Some of the tobacco fund currently provides homework assistance centers for about 25,000 school kids. It would be sad to see that program have to compete with entrenched special interests. Without that assistance, what chance do these children have?

  8. The kids who succeed in our education system are those who understand that, when they graduate from high school they will be entering a society that is rich with opportunity. They’re not dwelling on what they can’t do. They are focused on the infinite array of possibilities that are available to them.
    The gravest disservice we can do for our children is to bring them up believing that things are stacked against them and that there’s no way they can succeed with our system designed the way it is.
    Judging from Mr. Di Salvo’s writings it seems clear that he does not believe that he or any other teacher can succed with the system designed the way it is and it is no wonder that this attitude is passed along to students- particularly those who don’t already have a strong role model conveying a more positive attitude.
    Instilling students with optimism and confidence doesn’t take an act of Congress, innovative programs, and vast new sums of tax dollars.
    At great effort and expense we Americans are cheerfully willing to provide every child in this country with a good, solid education. It is up to them and their parents to take advantage of that generosity.
    We have nothing to apologize for and it is greatly troubling to be continually lectured by those within the education establishment that we do.

  9. #9-Steve,
    I get your point Steve, and in many ways I disagree with you. I take little comfort in the past and I embrace the future! Something that very few younger folks do today because they feel hopeless about what lays a head of them. 

    I think you’re missing the point Greg and I are trying to make here. Things are different today because parents aren’t being held to the same standard of responsibility in caring for the children as they once were. We have become a very permissive society, and that has changed the very moral fiber of this country. Pin heads like Sally Leiber and her anti spanking laws make me want to scream and claw my face. I don’t believe in physical violence, but I do think kids need discipline.

    I didn’t grow up in Saratoga, but I can tell you this, while growing up, I never saw a parent leave their kid with strangers, or let them roam the streets with friends they didn’t know either. I rarely ever saw men shirk their parental responsibilities, and knock up one woman after another either, but it is rampant in today’s society.
    I do agree that there needs to be resolution, but side stepping a discussion on the irresponsible way parents are behaving is in your own words, is rather ignorant. This topic is very pertinent to this conversation. Greg has a very valid point, and I applaud him for sticking by his guns on this one.

    Three of my suggestions to assisting the problem is parenting classes, peer counseling, and after school programs. How about you Steve, what do you think needs to be done?

  10. On January 20th, 2009 there was a tremendous amount of palpable hope of a better America on the National Mall. I was fortunate to be there to experience it. We can and must do better for our children for they are the ones that will inherit this land. The children in school today will become parents and if they are engaged in school with teachers that care, get a relatively good paying job once they complete their schooling,  and can afford a place to live, then they will raise a generation that can get us to the better place.

    Good to Great schools are the source of our better future no matter how you cut it. Too many Silicon Valley are working hard to make ends meet with not enough time to devote to raising this next generation.  No fault here…it is what is.

    Joseph Di Salvo

  11. Thank You Mr. Desalvo for your post.
     
      We are all responsible for every child in this village. We must start with the babies in the slums of our city. Yes There are plenty of them. Next door to the Mexican Heritrage plaza, is a world that defies discription. Most children that have been fortunate to be tested as required for high toxic blood lead levels, continue to live in those horrific conditions. The web is full of sites one can visit to learn what a gastly effect lead has on a childs brain development.
      Now deal with the reality that this condition has gone on for the last forty years. Not just in slums like Sal Si Puedes, but anywhere lead paint is accesable to a childs hand to mouth period in their very young life. These babies now are partents, is it any wonder that these now adults are having social issues that affect the lives of their offsprings.
      Until we sober up to the fact that we are not dealing with this very criticle issue, our City will continue to have these kinds of problems.
      Iraq sends the message to our children that we can kill at will, wall street sends the message to our children that we can steal at will. What hope have we got now that the world is in this very vulnerable condition. Yes the DownTown is important, but aren’t our village children deserving of a normal life. Free of growing up with a twisted brain caused by simple neglet of a silent condition, TOXIC LEAD POISIONING!
      Save the children! That’s our only hope.
      And please stop the insults on this post. Guilt and denial has a way of showing it’s self in a pointed finger.

          The Village Black Smith

  12. Steve,

    Your objection to viewing the past through rose-colored glasses is understandable, but that doesn’t change the fact that the rose-colored view, whether used to review the past or predict the future, is critically important to the health and well-being of a free society. This country did not achieve the stability necessary to correct some its many faults by having embraced or emphasized its shortcomings, it did it by celebrating and defending its many strengths and achievements. Excessive self-scrutiny in an emerging nation is a recipe for stagnation and ruin.

    We benefit from our Founding Fathers and great presidents because we celebrate the wisdom and guidance they demonstrated in their public lives, something we would be challenged to do were we to undermine their contributions by making equally prominent their imperfections as men. Likewise, this society has, courtesy of flawed men and questionable practices, conquered the continent and transformed it into the Land of the Free, something that could not have been achieved had we not, as a people, been willing to regularly stack skeletons in the closet. The task of creating a new nation, a new kind of nation, is not something that can be done without making blunders; but it is not the blunders upon which the builders build, it is the successes.

    It is not difficult, when looking back forty or fifty years, to see that things were not perfect. Yes, there were many students who failed in school, or committed crimes, or ruined their lives with drugs and alcohol, but there were more who didn’t, and it was from those more that emerged the great strides in medicine, the great advances in technology, the great commitment to ending discrimination.

    While acknowledging the rare exceptions to the rule, I submit that the great achievements of the past fifty years owe everything to the sacrifices and commitments of moms and dads, the efforts of dedicated teachers, and to an environment built around expectations, not privileges.

    Things are much worse today, and a good part of the problem is due to the culture-destroyers in government and academia who would like to eradicate our pride in tradition and our American heritage by emphasizing the mistakes of the past and exaggerating our collective culpability—to the point where we are left with only guilt and shame. Well, I say bullshit! Look to the past without hesitation, look back to the things done right in the 40s, 50s, even 60s, and restore those expectations and values in our homes and in our schools. We don’t have to fixate on the warts of times past… we have enough warts of our own.

  13. I too remember many of the things Kathleen describes in #7.  I also remember they were not universal then.  Kathleen must have been more sheltered than I was growing up.  I remember pachuco gangs in the 50’s, in East L.A. and black gangs in Torrance/Lawndale/Watts/Compton, and white gangs on the west side.  I remember deadbeat Dads, endless promises of welfare reform that never materialized, parents who did not work and stil had no time for their children, and moms with multiple kids by mutiple men, none of whom married her.

    I’d say there is little qualitative difference betwen now and then, only quantitative difference.

  14. The government requires licenses for all kinds of jobs; except the most important one—parenting.  Employers usually require skills in order for one to be hired, but none are required to become a parent. 

    Where do parents get their skills?  Mostly from their own parents.  So, if one doesn’t have stellar parents, and I don’t mean Ozzie & Harriet either, where does one acquire the skills?  Mostly hit and miss.

    Most parents do the best they can, I suppose; but for many parents the best they can isn’t anywhere near good enough.  And even with hyper-vigilant/strict parents, things can go wrong (Ms. Ivy Carasco’s folks seemed quite strict; but she went to a friends house, rode a go-cart without a helmet or experience in driving it, and is now deceased.)

    The plain fact is, there’s a damn lot of folks out there that should never have kids; but we have no way to stop them from doing so. And the HUGE legal bias towards keeping kids with their biological parents, no matter how inept (or even criminal) they may be, does not help the situation.

    On a vaguely related note, Ms. Suleman in Orange County now has 14 kids, thanks to some irresponsible physician who implanted 8 embryos in a woman who already has six kids under the age of seven, no job, and no husband.  Who’s going to pay for 2-3 months of neonatal ICU care for the latest 8?  Who’s going to pay for the 14 kids of an unemployed neurotic woman whose sole desire is to have bunches of kids?  How well will they be brought up? 

    If I were czar, the “reproductive physician” who implanted the 14 embryos in this clearly neurotic unemployed single jobless woman would be required to at least pay for their entire support. His judgment is so poor I don’t think I’d want her/him to have a hand in rasing those kids.  I’m not real sure Mom is qualified either. If she doesn’t get a healthy book deal, she’ll be on the welfare dime soon.  Even her mother is moving out in disgust!!

  15. K #19—I never used the word “privileged”.

    But it seems that you remember the days of your youth as halcyon, and very different from today.  I have no such memories.  All the things you decry about today were there in the 50s too.

  16. JMO-“I never used the word “privileged”. Never said you did!

    Oh, no! I don’t remember a peaceful past, quite the contrary. I remember integration; sever racism, bigotry, poverty, and a million other things, but that is not my point. My point is that parental responsibility, and morals seem to have been lost over the decades.

    And yes, all the bad things we see today existed before, but in my opinion, they were not as prevalent as they are today.

  17. Greg-

    Ok you got me there….. perhaps I am the one who is projecting now. But when I read that todays parents do not take responsibility for their children I get a little offended.

    And how is painting with such a broad brush on your part engaging?

  18. Mr. Desalvo,
    Interesting to read so any folks pounding salt as a result of your posting.
      I did a bit of research today , and found an interesting fact. There are no doctors of medicine on any of these boards. The Hispanic Foundation of Silicon Valley, is targeting childhood obesity WOW!.
      The Mexican Heritage Corp. is just trying to find it’s self, Duh!. No Doctors on that board, and never has there been a Doctor on board. Yet all around them are horrific casualties of lead poisoning.
      It’s time to bring President Obama to Silicon Valley. The reality is WE, yes WE, have been negligent of insuring that the children of our Village are protected from the scourge of neglet. There must be a young Doctor of Medicine out there that can focus these ineffective boards to action.
      It’s a dam shame that we produce so many children that can not make the cut in second grade, because their brains do not funtion as normal children because of lead toxicity.
      There must be a Doctor on every board in the east side, west side , north side, and south side.
      We can no longer expect the athourities to police the gang violence that comes of so much neglet from our city. It’s time for our elected boys and girls to get to it. Start with “Toxic Lead Poison of Children” Read it learn it, then go out and practice it.
      Let your concience direct you.
      Presidant Obama, if you are listening, set the bar.  Most of us have been asleep at the wheel for too long. The Children of our Nation are our greatest assets.

      The Village Black Smith

  19. #23 Kathleen,
      We have! Lead is an insidious silent destroyer of babies brains because it interfers with normal brain development.
    The Hewlett Foundation is well aware , as is the Community Foundation. All of the past and the present city folks are well aware.
      To educate your self, Please type these into your comcast broswer:

    Metroactive news Revenge of the Renters

    EPA vs ALLEN WONG

    Sierra Club takes action to protect children
     
    It’s not like we are trying to keep this the best kept secreat, OR IS IT?
      Let us know what you find inside of you. I would like to get thoughts from the rest of our San Jose Inside bloggers.

            The Village Black Smith

  20. All of us, bloggers or non-bloggers, must work tirelessly to ensure that ALL children of our village thrive from their birth…it is our obligation as the Village elders.  Perhaps FDR said it best,

    “We cannot always build the future for our youth but we can build our youth for the future”

    Parents have a essential role to play, however, we are all responsible to see that the children in this village are healthy and wise.

    Let’s use are hands to lift a child up in need, not to point fault at others…we are all in this together. We must rememer that a healthy child grows up to be a healthy parent.

    Joseph Di Salvo

  21. Mr. DiSalvo, a purported educator, wrote: “Let’s use are hands to lift a child up in need, not to point fault at others…”

    “are hands”??  The letters on the keyboard between “are” and “our” are way too far apart for this exhortation to be a typo.  Sorry, sir, but I must “point the fault”.  If a purported educator can be this far off in the language, no wonder our kids have problems passing tests.

  22. I would strongly recommend everyone remove the lead foil from the many wine bottles enjoyed daily in this Village.
      As the Bottle is uncorked, wine is poured over the lip rim , it comes into contact with the lead foil.
      Anybody want to guess what lead in ones blood stream does to adults?
      We also should wash “our hands” after handling the lead foil.
    The Village Black Smith

  23. #25-Joseph Di Salvo,

    “Parents have a essential role to play, however, we are all responsible to see that the children in this village are healthy and wise.”

    Not true in many ways. Too many lazy parents think that T.V., computers, video games, and teachers should take over the responsibility of parents. It is my belief that if you decide to have a child you are responsible for that child, not the server in a restaurant, or clerk in a store where your kid runs around like an animal destroying merchandise, or disturbing people trying to eat because they are yelling, screaming, and bouncing up and down on the seat. It is not a downstairs neighbor’s responsibility to discipline your kid who is running, jumping, and screaming through the apartment above because you’re too lazy to stop them, or spend quality time with them, nor is it a teacher who is there to educate your child academically. I have many friends who teach, and they are sick to death of lazy parents. 

    “Let’s use are hands to lift a child up in need, not to point fault at others…we are all in this together. We must remember that a healthy child grows up to be a healthy parent.”

    I think it is sad that you are making excuses for SOME parent’s irresponsible behaviors. A child grows up to be their parents; so parenting classes are a must if children are to grow up healthy!

  24. Violence and crime are a society’s problem.  It takes a society to solve it.  What’s happening in schools and with our youth are a result of our society’s ills.  WE have to accept the responsibility of causing the problems and therefore take action to solve the problem.  Sitting around and blaming parents is not going to get us anywhere.  There ar some very good parents who have kids that get lost.  Those of us who work in shcools, with children know that we have as much, if not more, influence on them as their parents. The school system is broken.  It does not work for all kids.  Kids need more options, and parents need more options.  Thanks Joe for your post.

  25. Tina said, “Those of us who work in shcools, with children know that we have as much, if not more, influence on them as their parents.” That is a very sad statement indeed. While at 52, I can remember every wonderful teacher and college instructor that has touched my life in extraordinary ways, it was my parents, and family members that truly molded my beliefs and ethics, and that Tina is the way it should be. 

    I work with youth offenders and schools. I can tell you first hand that these kids are lonely, lost, and get into trouble because they aren’t receiving the guidance and love they need. I’m sick and tired of people like you who make excuses for parents who have kids when they are but children themselves, and for lazy parents that take advantage of kindhearted family, friends, and yes, even teachers because they aren’t held accountable for the lack of interest or participation in their children’s lives. How exactly are children going to become good responsible parents with bad role models for parents? Are you going to bring them into your home and teach them, or will you do it while trying to teach an over sized class at the expense of other children?

  26. Kathleen,
    When we blame only the parents, we remove any responsibility that is on us.  Yes, there are many “bad” parents out there.  And parents have to step up.  I agree with that.  I just feel that our society is very sick.  What’s happening in the families and schools are a symptom of a greater problem, not the cause.

    I feel I am a decent parent.  I did everything that I could do for my kids.  My kids watched as I got a degree and became a teacher.  I taught them values and responsibility.  Yet, one of them got into some major trouble.  Nothing I did seemed to work.  His school saw him as a lost cause, and they wanted nothing to do with him.  They gave up on him.  My son was lucky enough to have a quality alternative school with teachers that cared, and they helped to turn him around.  Regular schools are not capable of helping all kids succeed.  That is why options for the “other” kids are important. 

    My point is that not all “bad” kids come from uncaring, lazy, irresponsible parents.  Even the best of parents need the support and help of quality teachers and counselors.  Kids that don’t have good parents, need that to an even greater degree. 
    Tina

  27. #32- Tina,
    I’m so sorry you had to go through that with your son. I know it must be very painful. I give you BIG time kudos for standing by him, like a good responsible parent should, and for finding him the help he needs. I wish you only the best in dealing with this.
    While there may be plenty of parents like you out there, you are the exception to the rule. Too many parents are the direct cause of these kids getting in trouble. There are way too many single parent households, and way too many Fathers MIA!
    Peer pressure, and a way too permissive society have a lot to do with kids going down the wrong path that is for sure. I see parents, good parents, struggling to pay bills, giving their kids video games, computers, TVs, and other gifts out of guilt, or to keep them out of their hair. I see other parents who are just too overwhelmed to know what to do, and others who just don’t care at all.
    You are correct that our society is very sick. We have young girls putting up nudes on My Space, walking around dressed like 40 year old hookers, many who have had sex with more boys in one year, than you and I have in one lifetime, boys who are knocking up girl after girl with no consequences, and the list goes on and on. But where does it end, and how do we turn it around? I think it has to start with parents, parenting classes, better curriculum in schools, changing the way media, and music by drugged up Rappers, and hard rockers affects our kids, spending time with kids, getting them involved in civic responsibility, and yes, even taking them to church (it doesn’t matter which church, or which religion) to give them something to believe in. Kids need good role models to pattern themselves after, and the Joker in Batman, isn’t one of them.

  28. #32- Tina,
    I’m so sorry you had to go through that with your son. I know it must be very painful. I give you BIG time kudos for standing by him, like a good responsible parent should, and for finding him the help he needs. I wish you only the best in dealing with this.
    While there may be plenty of parents like you out there, you are the exception to the rule. Too many parents are the direct cause of these kids getting in trouble. There are way too many single parent households, and way too many Fathers MIA!
    Peer pressure, and a way too permissive society have a lot to do with kids going down the wrong path that is for sure. I see parents, good parents, struggling to pay bills, giving their kids video games, computers, TVs, and other gifts out of guilt, or to keep them out of their hair. I see other parents who are just too overwhelmed to know what to do, and others who just don’t care at all.
    You are correct that our society is very sick. We have young girls putting up nudes on My Space, walking around dressed like 40 year old hookers, many who have had sex with more boys in one year, than you and I have in one lifetime, boys who are knocking up girl after girl with no consequences, and the list goes on and on. But where does it end, and how do we turn it around? I think it has to start with parents, parenting classes, better curriculum in schools, changing the way media and music by drugged out Rappers and hard rockers affects our kids, spending time with kids, getting them involved in civic responsibility, and yes, even taking them to church (it doesn’t matter which church, or which religion) to give them something to believe in. Kids need good role models to pattern themselves after, and the Joker in Batman, isn’t one of them.

  29. Hang on folks, I think I have the answer… This is good I promise wink

    Is it too much to say there should be some sort of limits to how many babies we can have? 

    Maybe throw an income factor into the mix?  A credit report maybe?  If you can’t afford them, don’t have them?  Just a thought as I see fellow young adults with no college degree, no jobs but a boyfriend making less than 30k a year and living with parents, popping out kids like its required of them?

    And what about teaching these kids some self control?  IT IS OK TO SAY, “hang on babe, I need to put the condom on”.  Why not make that a cool thing to do! 

    I mean heck, if we can make cigarettes look like a swell idea, we should have the talent and skill in the world to make wrapping it up “cool”.

    We’re already taking up WAY too much of the natural habitats of animals.  Maybe the guilt of taking their land might encourage us to stop making so many kids that are practically doomed to fail from the get go.

    Andrew

    -Admin at http://www.SanJoseCityLiving.com

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