Promoters Hope Donkey Will Boost Attendance
In a bid to boost this year’s attendance at the San Jose Grand Prix, race organizers have added more pedestrian bridges, constructed a more competitive course, invited rock legend David Lee Roth and entered a wild North African ass to race side by side with the CHAMP cars.
The race, which takes place the weekend of July 28th, will feature Fire Balls, the wild-jackass that completed its psychiatric rehabilitation at the esteemed, state-run animal hospital in Coalinga after a bout of mad-ass disease.
“This was a sad animal with nothing to live for,” said a CHAMP spokesman. “We are all about second chances and hope that a top-ten finish in the San Jose Grand Prix will help Fire Balls make a smoother transition from loony bin to civilian life.”
Having lived an existence right out of a “true Hollywood story,” Fire Balls saw a life destined for toil in the mountain ranges of Ghana turn to Hollywood success as he was discovered by an agent with superfirm IMG while on safari. He was cast as Gus with co-star Don Knotts in Disney’s 1976 movie as a field-goal-kicking mule. When his performance was deemed a “stretch” by most movie critics, it sent Fire Balls into a depression that ended with mad-ass disease which he contracted from his alcohol-fueled promiscuous nights with some of Hollywood’s leading ladies.
Not everyone sees this story as one of redemption though. Many professional drivers have threatened a walk-out if the donkey is allowed to race. “If this burro wins the race it will marginalize all we have worked for. Besides it is just unsafe.”
For 3 days of semi-entertainment, this place sure is disrupting the city just so they can lose another $1 million plus. Streets are closed off, parking lots are gone, hudnreds of people-hours of work, and months of disruption.
Who allows this kind of thing to occur? Our “decision makers” appear so desperate that they will give away the city at the expense of its citizens. It would appear that the ass in the race is not the only ass in town.
Wait…is Ron in the race? Is that what this story is about?
The Grand Prix is fun! Try not to think about the ridiculous sums of money…
If this heat keeps up next week, the beer vendors will make enough money to pay for next years race.
Gotta agree with City Dweller.
Can we have it in Willow Glen next year so some of the streets there can get re-paved? In fact, let’s change the location each year to a place that needs streets resurfaced, instead of the junky chip-an-seal we get.
Oh, Fire Balls was a jackass,
And he ran all the time.
He could outrun a race car.
He could stop on a dime.
His bridle was silver.
His mane, it was gold.
And when off of his Prozac
He was prone to be bold.
Oh, the downtown was crowded
And Fire Balls was there
But the betting was heavy
Though the odds were unfair
And way up a yonder
To screams and catcalls
Tripping over those damn tracks
My noble Fire Balls
Had I bet on a CHAMP Car
To win, place, or show
Instead of old Fire Balls
I’d still have my dough
Oh, the hoot owl she hollers,
And a downed ass will yell
To run a race over light rails
Is stupid as hell
I think David Lee Roth and Fireballs have led parallel lives.
The fact that the Grand Prix subsidy was done was a bad mistake. The city could use more funds for more projects, and it is sad that Chuck is too wrapped up in defending himself over the Hoestetter Scandal to make a meaningful challange to the Grand Prix mess. If Chuck would withdraw to allow a clean candidate like Pandori or Cortese to step in, it would be better.
FACTS OF THE HOSTETTER SCANDAL REVEALED
Dateline: San Jose
By: Bury What?
Following numerous angry demands by bloggers on San Jose Inside The Mercury News has uncovered the facts of The Hostetter Scandal involving Mayoral candidate Chuck Reed.
Until now the only known information was that Reed was present at a November meeting at a Milpitas Remax office also attended by developers. Although the meeting was not secret and broke no laws a SJI blogger, in consultation with his multiple personalities, has responded by making numerous references to the event and delivering misspelled Ad Hominem attacks against anyone who says “Huh?”
New Developments.
After an exhaustive investigation, this time without help from Karen Sinunu, additional facts have been learned involving The Hostetter Scandal.
The Mercury has discovered that Reed attended the meeting with developers in Milpitas to broker a back room deal to build a UFO LANDING PAD on the roof of Henry’s Hi Life!!!
Anonymous souses tell the Merc that as a young Air Force pilot Reed was stationed at AREA 51 where he made contact with “The Visitors.” Over beers one night they hammered out a deal in which Reed, as the one-day San Jose Mayor, would trade a plastic Quetzacotal statue in exchange for space alien funding of a downtown flying saucer race and BART link. (Viewers of The Sci Fi Channel know the planet ZFaKTE3QGR suffers from a serious shortage of bad public art.) The BART link was later dropped when it failed to get the necessary 2/3rds vote needed for space alien approval.
When pressed for a comment Reed would only say “It was a good deal for San Jose. We got rid of the Municipal Turd, we get to keep our palm trees and the flying saucer race will give us intergalactic TV exposure. Besides, I’m still waiting for those Grand Jury transcripts to come out. Oops sorry, wrong scandal.”
Fellow Mayoral candidate Cindy Chavez immediately responded telling a luncheon gathering of the SJPD Mounted Patrol Barn Shovelers Union “I was the first to take a leadership position calling for a Sister City relationship with other planets. We have plenty of bad public art to unload. What about that thing in front of the Art Museum?”
In a related development Councilmembers Nancy Pyle and Nora Campos, both Chavez supporters, have asked the San Jose Election Commission to investigate possible unreported space alien contributions to the Reed campaign. Campos explained “I’m not saying Chuck actually took any money from those space guys, but if he did it’s wrong!”
During the night of July 18, 2006 AD, fire broke out in the merchant area of the city of San Jose.
Fanned by summer winds, the flames quickly spread through the dry, wooden structures of this High Tech Imperial City.
Soon the fire took on a life of its own consuming all in its path for six days and seven nights. When the conflagration finally ran its course it left seventy percent of the city in smoldering ruins.
Rumors soon arose accusing Emperor Gonzo of ordering the torching of the city and standing on the summit of the Fairmont Hotel playing his lyre as flames devoured the world around him.
These rumors have never been confirmed. In fact, Emperor Gonzo rushed to the Fairmont from his palace in East Santa Clara and ran about the city all that first night without his guards directing efforts to quell the blaze.
But the rumors persisted and the Emperor looked for a scapegoat. He found it in the news media, particularly the local newspaper the Mercury News, at that time a rather obscure publication, almost a religious sect with a small following in the city.
To appease the masses, Emperor Gonzo literally had members of the press and other victims fed to the lions during giant spectacles. In order to divert attention from the fire and the other many problems of the Empire, Emperor Gonzo used public funds to sponsor chariot races and other crowd pleasing events. These were held in the city’s remaining downtown road ways and other vacant lots created by the great fire.
From the ashes of the fire rose a more spectacular San Jose. A city made of marble and stone with wide streets, pedestrian arcades and ample supplies of water to quell any future blaze. The debris from the fire was used to fill the malaria-ridden Guadalupe River that had plagued the city for generations.
Dear San Jose:
Those opposed to the Grand Prix subsidy are not necessarily party-poopers. If the event is such a boon to the hotels and other downtowners, let them pay for it. The San Jose city government is too much into the promotion business and not enough into the maintenance business. Please also recall that the first year’s subsidy was promised to be the last, and that the event would generate a profit for the city.
When I was a kid, there was a rec leader at our local park every Summer that was paid for by the city. There was also a guy (or gal) that tended to the park almost on a daily basis. Today, you’re lucky if they mow the weeds once a month. What happened?
It’s all about civic priorities, and for the past seven years, our civic priorities have been misplaced. The fact that one third of the city’s swimming pools are closed due to a lack of maintenance is a sad joke.
Pete Campbell
Well, finally! MalContent has provided more details than the multiple personality disorder blogger has given re the “Hostetter Scandal”—which the three faces of eve blogger cannot even spell correctly.
But more needs to be revealed. What was discussed? Did the topic(s) discussed come to a vote by the council?
Clearly the meeting was not secret, since the personality-challenged blogger(s) who keep brining it up knew it happened.
Councilmembers and mayors meet with folks all the time outside their offices. Not necessarily a problem/ethical violation.
The important fact to know is if The Chuckster made promises to people for some consideration on their part to vote in a certain way, and that he failed to reveal that to his council colleagues, and the citizens of San Jose.
If he did, he does not deserve to be mayor. If he did not, the multiple personality disorder boy needs to put a sock in it
RACE? really? a race! seems the ass es have all ready won.
Other cities actually have a car RACE while
San Jose, California
(people still don’t know where it is) has a governmentally funded, follow the leader around a bumpy narrow trail kind of a, lets get a crowd together and sell things to the disappointed people, thing.
The event promoters sold a bill of goods to the elected big shots who saw other cities doing it and figured … Sure Thing!
Alas, it wasn’t a sure thing.
Now we must look forward to the race? that really isn’t a race again and maybe again.
There must be better streets to stage a real race on in San Jose, California
(Where is that? Oh! that place that has an indited mayor).
The elected (best big money can buy) politions should work with their lobbyist bedfellows, get a committee together and hire some high priced consultants
(who will all belong to a big union)
before we let them do it again.
Well it is nice to do that council members such as Chick Reed, a white guy, can meet with developers and discuss seecret deals, while Hispanic officials like Mayor Ron Gonzales cannot.
What a blow for diversity
On the subjects of meetings, is it true that Chuck Reed attended a Republican strategy meeting this week and said he stands for what Pete Constant stands for?
Chuck the Rep in Demo clothing
While defending Chuck Reed, Mal Content seems to say that Chuck is from Area 51. Does that mean Chuck is an alien??
Chuck is DINO, DEMOCRAT IN NAME ONLY
#14, I hope that is the case. Pete Constant is what we need more of in San Jose. It is pretty clear that Pete represents a voice of reason, change, independence, and hope for the future of San Jose.
Does anyone know if there is a way to search back posts on this blog????
While Mal was writing his tale in Nebraska, actually identifying Chuck Reed as an alien from Area 51, he finally acknowledge two key parts of the Hostetter Scandal.
Notice how much Mal likes to defend his meal ticket as much as possible.
Element One
Chick met in secret with developers instead of at his office where he would have to log in that they were there.
Element Two
Chuck discussed a private deal just as Ron discussed one with Norcal.
So thanks to Mal Content who now agrees that the Hostetter Scandal is a fact of life, we know Chuck meets with developers in around to circumvent the process.
We also know that Mal and John Michael, who got three votes when he ran for City Council, his own, his sistern in law, and his wife, will defend Chuck at all times.
So the summer slow down at the Norcal recycling center finds you with plenty of time to post eh #14? Must be tough typing with gloves on.
So if Chuck stands for what Pete Constant stands for then it must follow that Cindy stands for what Jay James tried to stand for (more big labor and business as usual at CH).
Thanks for that sage bit of insight.
PS. Help us all out – what’s a DIMO?
Novice is correct that Pete Constant stands for good things. Look what Jay James stands for, unetical consultants like Darren Seaton.
#18
Unfortunately, there is no way to search on our site at present but we may make this possible in the future.
#19 & your various personalities:
Sorry to disappoint. I’ve never been to Nebraska, although after checking weather.com I wouldn’t mind visiting today. It’s cooler than San Jose, and you could buy decent corn.
Now please take your meds, stop renting those Chuckie movies, and maybe the voices will subside for a few hours.
#11. JMOC: For more on the non-scandal check out Metro’s blog site at:
http://www.sv411.com
It’s the July 11th entry. Be sure to read the one comment, kind of funny.
Note, Metro previously wrote a larger item about this in it’s Fly section, coming to the same conclusion: it’s a non-issue being pushed by someone with an ax to grind with Reed.
Pool Mal, he is stuck with Chuck Reed, though he does not want to be.
I have been away, so I am not sure why we are still talking about the matter concerning Reed. Is it the Hossenfeffer Scandal? That seems to be my best attempt at poking fun at the people that keep writing about it.
People also seem to be writing about comments that I and some others make about Jamie Matthews in Santa Clara.
All I can say about Matthews as a relevant factor in Santa Clara politics is to ask the important question:
Jamie, who?
Hostetter Scandal “it’s a non-issue being pushed by someone with an ax to grind with Reed “
Gee who could that be? “Dale “doesn’t pass stink test” Warner failed many stink tests himself, those who honestly believe Mr Clean is not so clean or those who want to find or create dirt about Chuck for political purposes? Its politics – so probably all 3 – more wild-jackass political participants to race against Fire Balls
So is Chuck beyond question?
Guess so to the Reedites.
BTW, the Hostetter postings came from three people, one of whom in Milpitas, and one of whom gave money to Chuck for his council campaign.
Sorry to pop your bubble, I think that happens a lot to you in bars, doesn’t it?
#26 At least Matthews truly cares about his community and could convince a City Council that he should be appointed to two Board/Commission(s). Additionally, he continually earned respect from enough of his community’s voters to get elected to two consecutive terms.
Can the same be said about any members of the CAC and their kin? Self-appointment doesn’t count.
It’s very easy to chuck rotten tomatoes at a target but sometimes errant volleys can be answered by neighbors who don’t like the mess being created. Sometimes a neighbor’s response is in the form of a pot of cold dirty water being doused on the offending party.
I always try to remember that it is a very small world and that one should never tempt karma because it is something not to be fooled with!
Well, at least one Santa Clara scrumbum wants to bother us some more, and the more he writes, the more we know who it is.
What is a CAC, this is a San Jose blog and maybe names should be checked on websites before they are posted there.
That small college is Hawaii was not good for screenplay writing anyway,
Back to San Jose stuff,
how much more could we have in San Jose for parks and libraries and not stupid race cars. Like most people, I am voting for Reed, and I am glad people unlike this crumbum who cannot list his name, are supporting him.
As far as I am concerned, Reed was very unfairly treated by the nonames last week, like the noname this week who needs a meal ticket.
Hi all!
G’night
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