City Awards Former Mayor Hard-to-Find Electronic Games
The city council on Tuesday took the unusual step of pledging $6 million in cash to former Mayor Tom McEnery to “do as he saw fit.”
Although most thought the cash gift a bit too much for a former politician that has enriched himself to the number seven spot on the Forbes richest people list, vehement protest didn’t come until the gift included ancillary products such as cars, jewelry and several hard-to-find electronic toys, including the ever illusive Wii Fitness.
“I understand why a former mayor may need a Prius or a watch,” said Ed Rast, a community activist. “But I can’t believe an exercise program is in the community’s best interest.”
The council did, however, add a few provisions to the 9-1 vote. McEnery is also required to purchase ten compact discs and four DVDs over a three-year period.
A friend at city hall called to say that Norm Mineta stormed in following the McEnery deal and demanded a sit down with the council. She said she didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but that the screaming was so loud she couldn’t help but hear, this:
“Cars, jewels, AND TOYS for a former mayor? Hell, I’m a former mayor, AND former congressman, AND a retired member of the president’s cabinet! What do I get? I’ll tell you what I get. A DAMNED AIRPLANE. A BOEING 747, just like that big shot parts peddler John Fry. It’s bad enough I’ve got to read about him loaning out his big plane, but now this—SIX-MILLION DOLLARS? What about me? Is everyone forgetting that I was INTERNED AS A CHILD? I WANT AN AIRPLANE!”
1 – If your post was supposed to be funny you’d be better off leaving the humor to others.
$6 Million Reasons To Wonder Why
San Pedro deal puts redevelopment in the spotlight
Redevelopment agencies and redevelopment zones were established to eliminate blighted areas. Over time, the definition of “blight” has evolved to the point where it has become essentially meaningless. Clearly, San Pedro Square is not blighted.
In voicing their support for the proposed $6 million public investment in San Pedro Square, the Mercury News Editorial Board stated, “When redevelopment subsidies have gone wrong in the past, it’s mainly been when the agency tried to establish businesses that the market couldn’t support.” What an admission! The Mercury Ed Board essentially concedes that the RDA sometimes builds “supply” where there is no “demand.” In the private sector you get fired for such miscalculations. In the RDA world, you take another few million out of petty cash, and keep trying!
The Editorial Board continued…“But spending money on public structures and rights of way to make a business district more attractive is a core redevelopment mission.” Is this true? If so, to what degree? What standards of measure are we to use, and who decides who gets what? Should the city/RDA spend $6 million in San Pedro Square, or should they spread the money around, and invest $1 million in six different strip malls around the city?
Finally, how long will it take for the San Jose RDA to recoup its $6 million? (Or should I say, the citizens’ $6 million?) And given the RDA’s increasing clout, shouldn’t the citizens of San Jose have the right to elect the membership of the RDA Board?
Pete Campbell,
We do elect the board of RDA. The city council is the board.
Native (#2),
I’ll keep my intentions to myself, but I would appreciate it if you would provide an email address so that before posting on the Friday satire blog we might avail ourselves of your comedic insight and get your seal of approval. That way we might not have to suffer another post of yours lacking in… everything
Dear Duh:
The citizens of San Jose do not directly elect the membership of the RDA Board. If the Board members were elected based on their visions and promises for redevelopment spending, there would be a very different looking (and acting) board.
Pete Campbell
#3 Pete Campbell
Your post has reminded me of my 4H Club days as a young boy, living on the ranch on Cottle Road before IBM.
We raised chickens,rabbits,goats, pigs. My folks canned every fruit and vegetable grown in the area. We tended the farms around us. Picked the fruit, corn, tomatoes, cucumbers. We helped to feed the masses with good healty food, nurtured and picked with our very own hands. We grew up strong and straight.
I raised a very special pig , that I named Pedro.This pig was really smart. I was grooming him for the Santa Clara County Fair that following year. I always fed him the best oats, clean water every day. Even went on walks with Pedro. friends of the family would come on Sundays and bring him vegetables in season.
I held great promise in that wonderful animal. I was determined to win the Blue Ribbon at the County Fair.
The day arrived when Pedro and I would challenge the other pigs for the prize of being the best of the best. The competition was over whelming. There were so many great Pigs.
When the judging was over Pedro had nailed First Place! I just knew this pig was destined for greatness. A kind man bought Pedro. I of course was delighted that Pedro would live on as I had raised him.
I asked the man what he would now do with my Pedro. He replied, “We’re going to eat him. Son, a Pig is a Pig!”
This was a very important hard learned lesson in life for me. My eye had been on the prize, not my Pedro’s future. My 7 year old Grandson’s favorite saying is “Keep you eye on the prize! I’ve learned that being the best is not as important as just being! That the prize is simply the joy of living and working hard each day.
For those of you that are not familiar with 4H Clubs, the 4 “H”s stand for , Head, Heart, Hands,and Health. 4 H motto,“To Make the Best Better,” slogan is “Learn by Doing.”
The emblem is a green four leaf clover with a white H on each leaf. The white symbolizes high ideals. The green represents spring time, growth,life and youth.
It is interesting to note that this emblem is under U.S. federal protection, as is the U.S.Presidential seal,Red Cross,Smoky Bear,and the Olympic rings.
Today, 4-H focuses on citizenship,healthy living,and science and engineering and technology.
Perhaps we of this country could do no better that to focus on those ideals that still stand true.
Just my reflective thoughts about our Village this perfect Sunday morning!
The Village Black Smith
This Just In
Critics are all abuzz about da mayor’s latest work, titled “Comment #8”.
New York Times- “…a stunning achievement…”
The St. Louis Post Dispatch- “…a tour de force…”
The Pixley Press- “…only the fertile imagination of “da mayor” could concieve a fantasy world so bizarre that former San Jose mayor Tom McEnery actually admits that maybe, just maybe, he has benefited disproportionately from the expenditure of taxpayer dollars…”
da mayor takes all the praise in stride. In a recent interview he hinted that his next Comment is in the works and would introduce an otherworldly scenario in which McEnery’s postings actually have correct punctuation and spelling.
We can hardly wait!
well, lookie here. it seems fat cat mcenery got a offspring—sonafatcat.
well, sonafatcat, keep yo day job countin’ da big cash cuz you gonna lose money wit dat comedic writin a yors.
dat, my friends, is an attempt at satire by exageratin’ da situation. he try to write like an Onion staff writer. problem is, there is nuthin to laugh about fo da object of his humour. six mil for hyperdeveloping a already thriving block be da most croniest tammany hall type a deal makin’ aint seen since halliburton was awarded da lion’s share for iraqi (wealth) (re?)buildin’ in 2003.
i’ma take a stab at it. if i suck, too, tell it like it is. i ain’t fraid o no critcizm:
“In A Surprising Move, Former Mayor-turned-tammany hall-fat cat Mcenery Turns Down 6 Million Dollar Hush Money.”
In a move that silenced even his staunchest critics, former mayor McEnery stood before stunned council members as he flatly and unequivocally turned down $6 million worth of hush money ear marked for san pedo square.
Hinting at his larger bid for sainthood and a legacy lasting hundreds of centuries and the rise and fall of great nations, Mcenery stated, “Ladies and Gentlemen, while your offer might buy me silence, this hard-earned taxpayer money would be best served by scouting out our beloved city for truly blighted areas and investing in…well, the taxpayers.”
Pausing briefly to choke back tears of compassion, he added, “Our hardest working citizens, the working poor, deserve as much if not more than those Santana Row patrons who live elsewhere anyway, and I for one could not live with myself and stare my grandchildren straight in the face knowing that by accepting this generous award, hundreds of thousands in our grand valley would go without tastefully planned business districts all within walking distance of long-ignored neighborhoods so that those citizens can purchase groceries, home and pharmacuetical needs, and boba tea at Lee’s Sandwiches.”
And as if that were not enough to shock a murmuring crowd, he delivered his coup de grace, “And as a show of solidarity to my fellow citizens who are truly the engine of our great economy, the silicon in our chips and the hard in our drives, and on THE very site where now stands Saint Peter’s Square (not coincidentally named), i have developed plans that with your courageous and selfless—and kickbackless—approval on this historic day, will not only provide a privately funded space for early child development and badly needed parenting/jobs skills classes for our citizens in this new, emerging global economy, but will also serve as a facility for our new No Hockey Player Left Behind initiative for young athletes with strong eye, hand, leg coordination, from which the best will be culled to carry my…er, our Sharks team to stanley cup victory.”
Among a throng of reporters afterward, McEnery stated that his was an act of reconciiation with his soul, and that he wanted to set the standard for the highest levels of citizenship responsibility so that the whole nation can learn how cities should treat all its people. He also added that democracy as practiced by its founders, begins with one’s self, and that he intends to “burn every file that I have built of all our council members and mayor and going forward will the leave dirt-finding for the maids, and the Eric Hernandez’s of the world. Going forward, I shall develop my wealth solely through lucid arguments and open discourse presented in an open forum for all to see. The days of bribery, mob-like influence, and backroom deals ends today.”
He then unfurled a set a plans handed to him by his gloomy son that revealed a state of the art multi-use campus and a strategic plan that included a fully-funded think tank meant to tackle future city development issues, public transportation in a green age, citizenry education for san jose’s newest members, and a coach’s corner classroom for future sharks coaches so they can learn how to inspire the team to win the stanley cup.
He ended with a simple request in return before retreating to his prius, “all i ask is for a small cornerstone plaque with my name on it, placed at in the back parking lot of the new facility, and a modest grotto with my bust at the rear entrance where the pilgrims can come and leave offerings, incense, and prayers for city healing.”