SF Mayor Admits To Wearing Diapers During Staff Meetings
After several embarrassing revelations this week, San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom saved the best for last with an admission that he wears diapers during long staff meetings and “some cross country air travel.”
Although he had already admitted to an affair with a veteran aide’s wife and sought help for alcohol abuse, experts are saying that Diapergate could be the ultimate act that chases his base support to more “controlled” candidates.
“People don’t mind if Gavin is taking keg stands before meetings,” said Senator Dianne Feinstein, an early mentor and supporter of the mayor. “Nor do they care who he’s sleeping with…but in my experience, rock stars don’t wear diapers. It is perceived as weak and he has much work to do to restore the people’s trust.”
Many predicted that the mayor’s meteoric rise in power and national fame would be too much for a young, immature man to handle. “There are a lot of temptations that come with looks, power, fame and money, said political analyst Phil Matier. “But I truly think he was doing fine until his relationship with that astronaut.”
Newsom’s chief City Hall rival, Supervisor Chris Daly, has assembled a mayoral exploratory committee to test his chances as the Candidate of Continence.
In related news, a spokesperson for Mayor Chuck Reed said that the $20 charge for breakfast at the State of the City speech will include a diaper for those who insist on hearing every word.
Do you think Gavin would be going through these problems if he married his aide’s wife? I believe he wouldn’t have had to “seek help” for alcohol problems.
Yeah, that solution certainly solved Gonzo’s problems.
Gay Community Target of Diaper Warning
SAN FRANCISCO (FFN)—In the wake of Mayor Gavin Newsom’s admission that he sometimes wears diapers while attending to official duties, the San Francisco Health Department has issued an emergency bulletin to the city’s gay community warning of the dangers of experimenting with diaper wear. Acknowledging that the handsome mayor is much admired and often emulated by gay men, Dr. Mitchell Katz, director of the city’s health department, said the matter became urgent after a report was received of a planned ‘Dirty Diaper’ party this weekend in the Castro.
“The HIV-related dangers are obvious,” said Katz when asked about the bulletin, “we can’t allow the gay community, or any community for that matter, to put fun and games ahead of common sense and public safety.” He then added, “Last weekend’s ‘Betrayal Ball’ was risky enough,” referring to a widely-attended dance spawned by revelations of the mayor’s sex scandal, an event one attendee described as “a scandalous mix of imagination and indiscretion.”
The diaper advisory, posted on the web and distributed in flyers throughout the Castro, reminds residents of HIV risk factors and warns to “Just say no to diaper play—your life DEPENDS on it!”
Speaking of diapers. . . .
Meanwhile in San Jose termed-out mayor and council members unable to get life time healthcare benefits have been quietly investing in leading manufactures of adult diapers. With the omission of restrooms in new parks and the locking of others, it is hoped that the capital gains will contribute significantly to defer ongoing healthcare premiums.
When asked for comment on what effect the Diapergate scandal would have on City politics, District 9 Supervisor Tom Ammiano said, “I don’t get into diaper games. It just doesn’t have that Tang, ya know?”
Nice Blog where could we possible go from here. Jujst to get my fix again what happened to Gonzo? Did he blow out of town looking for some distirct to run in around Houston.
If a mayor sleeps with his best friend’s wife, a woman that worked for him and the wife of a trusted employee, in any other city, the guy is forced to resign, SF is totally ridiculous and a breeding ground for corruption and sin.
That’s why I love it! Where’s Willie Brown when we need him?
You mean his daughter/wife is changing those diapers?
#6 HJ
No.
He’s busy changing his diapers.
See DeCinzo’s cartoon in Metro with Billy-Jeff, Gavin The Daiper Boy, and Gonzo, who opines about what choick magnets they all are?
David Cohen should never have let DeCinzo go.
Uhhh…he wears diapers on long trips or meetings…
so why does it matter? It’s not as if he’s solicting to minors *cough*Mark Foley*cough*
Get over yourselves.